I'm gonna take a year off, hit the road, and live life to the fullest!

• Permalink: I'm gonna take a year off, hit the road, and live life to the fullest!
• Added: January 25, 2015

Brian: I mean I was having fun, making new friends, getting laid all the time, sleeping like a rock - but you made the call. You unilaterally decided I was better off a bitter alcoholic failure who could only hang out with a baby.
Stewie: Hey! We have fun.

• Permalink: Hey! We have fun.
• Added: January 11, 2015

Stewie: I've been approaching this far too intelligently. He's an idiot, so this shouldn't be hard at all! Hey Brian, you want to go see Doctor Hartman and get that procedure where you get two weiners?
Brian: Whoa, hell yeah! That way when I watch Black Swan, I can aim one at that Natalie Portman, and aim the other one at -
Stewie: Yes, yes, yes, we all know who the other one was.

• Permalink: Yes, yes, yes, we all know who the other one was
• Added: January 11, 2015

I forgot Yelp was a weapon for dumb people, you taught me something today Brian.

• Permalink: I forgot Yelp was a weapon for dumb people, you taught me something today Brian.
• Added: January 11, 2015

Stewie: Because right now, you're about as useless as Black Widow is to the Avengers.
Captain America: So what's your superpower again?
Black Widow: I can kick.
Captain America: Right…so, uh, who else here can kick? Hulk stop being nice.

• Permalink: Right…so, uh, who else here can kick? Hulk stop being nice.
• Added: January 11, 2015

She hasn't read your book Bri - that's your main character.

• Permalink: She hasn't read your book Bri - that's your main character.
• Added: January 11, 2015

That one's on the cover!

• Permalink: That one's on the cover!
• Added: January 11, 2015

That's page one, she's quoting page one.

• Permalink: That's page one, she's quoting page one.
• Added: January 11, 2015

Stewie: Here. I'll quiz you. Who said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself"?
Chris: Scooby Doo
Stewie: No
Chris: Shaggy
Stewie: It's nobody on Scooby-Doo

• Permalink: It's nobody on Scooby-Doo
• Added: January 05, 2015

Brian: What's on his arms?
Stewie: Those are waterwings. He was terrified of the water.

• Permalink: Those are waterwings. He was terrified of the water.
• Added: January 04, 2015

Besides, saving this ship would mean, like, talking to 80 people and I'm not in the mood right now.

• Permalink: Besides, saving this ship would mean, like, talking to 80 people and I'm not in the mood right..
• Added: January 04, 2015

Stewie Also, I gave the string quartet the music for highway to the danger zone
Brian: You have the sheet music for highway to the danger zone?
Stewie: Uh, yeah, that's all I keep in here. It's power bars and sheet music

• Permalink: Uh, yeah, that's all I keep in here. It's power bars and sheet music
• Added: January 04, 2015