Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX

Stewie: What kind of feet can fit in these shoes?
Brian: Your feet!

Permalink: Your feet!

Added: March 08, 2015

You hit me! What kind of monster hits a pregnant toddler!

Permalink: You hit me! What kind of monster hits a pregnant toddler!

Added: March 08, 2015

Stewie: We could even use my own crib!
Brian: You use your own crib!

Permalink: You use your own crib!

Added: March 08, 2015

We do not judge the machine, we do not judge Stewie.

Permalink: We do not judge the machine, we do not judge Stewie.

Added: March 08, 2015

This is serious Rupert, I'm losing him! I'm going to fix this relationship. We need a baby, and we need it now!

Permalink: This is serious Rupert, I'm losing him! I'm going to fix this relationship. We need a baby,...

Added: March 08, 2015

Lois: Oh I'm not doing anything special, just sitting here with the baby.
Stewie: Screw you too.

Permalink: Screw you too.

Added: March 08, 2015

Did you hear about your ex-husband yet? He's had a procedure.

Permalink: Did you hear about your ex-husband yet? He's had a procedure.

Added: February 08, 2015

Quagmire: Where do you get off?!
Stewie: Pretty much everywhere I hear. Fat man's right -- they're making this easy.

Permalink: Pretty much everywhere I hear. Fat man's right -- they're making this easy.

Added: February 08, 2015

Stewie: Which is hugging someone really hard with your legs.
Brian: Nope.
Stewie: Oh, well you'll tell me if I get it right?

Permalink: Oh, well you'll tell me if I get it right?

Added: February 08, 2015

Wait, hold on Brian, everyone deserves a proper funeral. Why do you think we're saving that VCR box in the basement?

Permalink: Wait, hold on Brian, everyone deserves a proper funeral. Why do you think we're saving that...

Added: January 25, 2015