Oh, Brian's a complete dick, we all know that, but I think we're losing sight of the point that Bonnie's a weird slut who's always letting you know she's open for business.

• Permalink: Oh, Brian's a complete dick, we all know that, but I think we're losing sight of the point...
• Added: March 13, 2016

I might need two weeks off from this friendship.

• Permalink: I might need two weeks off from this friendship.
• Added: March 06, 2016

He's a baby who did a baby thing. Let's all calm down a little.

• Permalink: He's a baby who did a baby thing. Let's all calm down a little.
• Added: January 10, 2016

I was living the life, banging chicks and eating cabbage. You know.

• Permalink: I was living the life, banging chicks and eating cabbage. You know.
• Added: January 03, 2016

This is more pussy than even I can handle.

• Permalink: This is more pussy than even I can handle.
• Added: January 03, 2016

Peter's a good friend. Not like Cleveland.

• Permalink: Peter's a good friend. Not like Cleveland.
• Added: November 22, 2015

We're a team like fish and chips and fat guys.

• Permalink: We're a team like fish and chips and fat guys.
• Added: November 08, 2015

If cellphones worked, every movie would be two minutes long.

• Permalink: If cellphones worked, every movie would be two minutes long.
• Added: October 25, 2015

How do you think NBA players get all those chicks? They're all great cooks. Except Kobe Bryant. His secret is different.

• Permalink: How do you think NBA players get all those chicks? They're all great cooks. Except Kobe...
• Added: September 28, 2015

Ugggh! This tastes like Ani DiFranco after a bike ride!

Quagmire (referencing an awful Korean Taco)

• Permalink: Ugggh! This tastes like Ani DiFranco after a bike ride!
• Added: September 28, 2015

I'm an idiot? All anyone remembers from your argument is that you're in a wheelchair!

• Permalink: I'm an idiot? All anyone remembers from your argument is that you're in a wheelchair!
• Added: March 15, 2015

Quagmire: Is your baby pregnant?
Peter: I dunno, Lois is in charge of the kids.

• Permalink: I dunno, Lois is in charge of the kids.
• Added: March 08, 2015