Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXGlenn Quagmire Quotes
Hang on, you guys! I don't know if I can pull out of this, giggity!
Peter: A private plane? How'd you swing that, Quagmire?
Quagmire: Let's just say I walked in John Travolta with not-Kelly-Preston.
Quagmire: Do like me, say "oui oui!" and tell them you're a friend of Bill Maher's!
Bill Maher: That's how you'll get to watch them pee in Canadian nudie bars!
I'd even go so far as to say that a Canadian strip club is the most magical place in the world.
Joe: You speak French?
Quagmire: Sure, they love me in France!
Quagmire: Whoa, is that Harrison Ford?
Peter: Yeah, it says in the brochures that he assists with all the jumps.
Harrison Ford: Get off my plane!
Peter: I have two ideas. One that I think is awesome and one that I think is stupid. We could either A: rob a Mafia poker game, or B: skydive
Joe: Skydive? I'd be totally up for that!
Quagmire: Yeah, I've always wanted to try skydiving!
Peter: Really? Eh, could be fun I guess.
What's wrong with you, Holder-Downer 5000? That's just for women!
Joe: Are we sure this is the way to the dining hall?
Quagmire: Oh, I'm sorry, are your feet getting tired? God, I'd love to be able to wheel around in a toy all day.
I love eating food that's sad.
Quagmire: Hey guys, this is my date Consuela.
Consuela: No, no, no.
Quagmire: Okay, we're here as friends, but I'm gonna change your mind one day.
Thanks to you, TV's a vast wasteland. You know how I know that phrase? I read it in a book, you monster!
