Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXChris Griffin Quotes
Meg: Well, well, well. Who do we have here?
Chris: It's me, Chris. You know me. Why are you talking like a bad guy?
Chris: Mom, Dad, I need to get new sneakers.
Lois: What? I just bought you new sneakers!
Chris: I know, but I need cooler ones!
Peter: Shut up and stop complaining. When I was your age, I didn't even have sneakers! We wore stale hamburger buns.
Lois: No you didn't, Peter.
Peter: Shh! He doesn't know that, he's just a dumb fat loser! Did you see his shoes?
Oh, of all the years to be trim and well-hatted.
Chris: Oh, hey, um, I think I might have the wrong address, I'm looking for Mr. Herbert's house?
Sandy: No, you're at the right house. I'm his grandniece Sandy.
Chris: Wow, my name is Chris too!
Stop making fun of me! I just wanted to listen to you guys having sex, but you were saying mean things about me!
Chris: A guy's name was Robbie back then?
Peter: The Bible's fuzzy on that.
Peter: It's the greatest story ever told, Meg. A story that goes back over 100 years.
Chris: Yay, Star Wars!
Peter: No, Chris. It's the story of Christmas and the Immaculate Conception. You guys were born the dirty way. Now gather around, everybody, and hear the awe-inspiring tale that's caused millions and millions of deaths!
Meg: Oh my god that's so disturbing.
Chris: I know, gross!
Brian: Yeah, my hearing's a lot better so I hear like, suction and stuff.
Chris: Dad, how did you get Mom out of the house so we could decorate?
Peter: Well Chris, I constructed a very elaborate fake grocery store.
Lois: And this is Meg's brother Chris.
Kent: Oh yeah, I've seen you around school. You eat with the deaf kids, right?
Chris: One of them isn't all the way deaf.
Kent: What grade are you in again?
Chris: It's still being worked out by a team of counselors.
Without government, I'm free to take a lot of mescaline and drive to Vegas!
Rush Limbaugh: Limbaugh Rule #1: No tax dodging Jedis in my pit!
Chris: Religion is tax exempt! Jedi's a religion!
