The Odd Couple Quotes
Marcus: I am beat. I'm gonna head home, take a nap. Maybe enjoy the company of a young lady.
Oscar: Which young lady?
Marcus: Oh it's ten blocks, there'll be someone along the way.
Yes you were born. Now we just have to wait twenty years til the part people care about.
Oscar
Marcus: Oh wow, first two writers, now three. This book is gonna be twice as good!
Felix: Well that math teacher screwed him in more ways than one.
Oscar: Not everybody wants to share the painful details of their lives.
Felix: Oh really? Heard of Facebook?
Yeah, okay, I can just sleep at the park. At the park no one nags you or says they've lost all sexual desire because your body feels, quote, like a bag of wet sand dipped in hair.
Roy
Teddy: You remember Felix. He came to poker that time and cleaned the cards, while we were still playing.
Roy: Right, my hands smelled like ammonia. My wife thought I was having an affair with our maid. Like I can get her.
Felix: Still, I should have been there to help you with your pain.
Oscar: What pain? The day we signed the papers I threw myself a two day party. I woke up covered in bubble wrap. A stripper had to pop me out, one bubble at a time.
Casey: Let me guess, another neighbor with your mail?
Oscar: No, you are the only woman in the building I'm stalking, I promise.
Oscar: Hot Casey from downstairs might be stopping by.
Dani: So you've moved from flirting in the elevator to an actual date?
Oscar: Sort of, I sneak some of my mail into her mailbox to force her to come by the apartment.
Dani: Aw, all the great romances start with the words "sneak" and "forced."
