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South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 4 Quotes
Parents can be pretty cruel sometimes dude. They get off on it.
Stan
Craig: This is the end of Smiley Town. The only phone is somewhere in Treasure Cove. If you want to find it, your gonna have to cross the white line.
Mark: Well can you help us find the phone please?
Craig: Hell no! I'm not crossing the white line.
Linda: Why not?
Mark: Okay let's just go Linda. I don't have time for Spaceman Spiff's little games.
Craig: Craig!
Mark; What?
Craig: It's Spaceman Craig. (walks off making space noises)
Stan: Dude! You're not gonna believe what Cartman got!
Kyle: Hepatitis B?
Cartman: No dickhole! 4 tickets, 28th row for the "Raging Pussies."
Kyle: What's "bad touch?"
Cartman: Something bout a swimsuit, I don't remember, but you definitely answer bad touch!
Kyle: My parents said I can't go.
Stan: Well of course your parents said you can't go.
Cartman: Dummy, you don't ask if you can go! I'm telling my parents that I'm staying at Stan's house, Stan's telling his parents he's staying at Kenny's house, and Kenny's not telling his parents anything cause they're alcoholics and they don't care!
Kenny: (muffled) Yeah!
Kyle: Oh, well now I already told them.
Cartman: Well I guess you're screwed then.
Rick: Hello Cartman, how are you today?
Cartman: Well I'm pissed off Rick, how are you?
You can scoop it up in my R. Kelly thermos.
Butters
Cartman: When I was in prison, we used to sneak stuff in by hiding it up our ass.
Another fat boy: I have some Fudge 'Ems up my ass. You want some?
Cartman: (scoffs) Yeah, I'm not falling for that one again!
I told you I was a tight virgin flower!
</i> Mrs. Crabtree
Will somebody put this retard out of his misery?
Cartman
Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute?
Chef: Dag-nabbit children! How come every time you come in here you've got to be asking me questions I shouldn't be answering? "Chef, what's a clitoris? What's a lesbian, Chef? How come they call it a rim job Chef?". For once, can't you kids come in here and say "Hey Chef, nice day isn't it"?
Stan:Hey Chef, nice day isn't it?
Chef: It sure is, thank you.
I feel great. I haven't had this much attention paid to my cooch since I was sixteen.
Mrs. Crabtree