Scrubs Season 3 Episode 2: "My Journey" Quotes
Janitor: Hey, you know, I-uh, it's not any of my business, but I think I know whose wizz that is.
Carla: I love you! Okay, go.
Janitor: Uh, his name is Mr. Freely.
Carla: First name?
Janitor: I.P.
Carla: "I.P. Freely"?
Janitor: Funny in third grade, funny now.
Carla: Listen, Stretch, if you know who this belongs to, I'd 'fess up right now. Otherwise, I'm gonna grab you by the back of that two-dollar haircut and force-feed you the sample so you can carry it around all day. That way, if I ever want it back, all I have to do is point you at a beaker and squeeze really hard! Now, you got any more funny jokes you gotta tell me?
Janitor: No, ma'am.
I'm sorry! I just thought that, as a urine lab technician, you'd be at least half as interested in urine as I am!
Carla
Elliot: Dr. Cox, I cannot miss this dinner!
Dr. Cox: Oh! Barbie, I-I actually see your point. You should, in fact, go on your little date, because I have some busy work that's gonna take me over into the vicinity of Mr. Hudson's room, so I'll just pop my head in there and tell him that he's going to die. But, if you have a moment between dinner and giving it away for free, if you could pick up the phone and call Mr. Hudson's wife and kids and tell them about, you know, the dying...? Oh, I know, sugar. This would be just the most terrific place to work on the planet if it weren't for all these sick people. Wouldn't it?
Dr. Cox: Heeee-xcuse me! You wouldn't happen to be signing out Mr. Hudson to the on-call resident, would you?
Elliot: Eee-yeah, why?
Dr. Cox: He's your patient, he needs a lumbar puncture, and you can't necessarily count on the on-call resident to do that, now, can you?
Elliot: It's just that, Dr. Cox, I've got a date with this guy named Sean-
Dr. Cox: Would you do me a personal favor and excuse me just for one moment?
Elliot: Yeah?
Dr. Cox shuts his eyes and snores
Elliot: Oh, I'm sorry, that was my mistake. I keep forgetting that you're a horrible, horrible person.
Dr. Cox: Oooh, backbone, Barbie.
J.D.: Mr. Quinn, before I examine your clavicle, let me ask you something: Do you think it's out of line for me to want to take my best friend here to dinner?
Mr. Quinn: Well, I, uhh...
J.D.: I mean, this is like the end of an era! Okay? We've always been known as Turk & J.D. Like, when we were in college, people'd be like, "When are Turk & J.D. getting here?" Right? And then in med school, everyone was like, "When are Turk & J.D. getting here?"
Turk: We didn't have a car.
J.D.: The point is, we were together so much, this one Indian girl only slept with him 'cause she thought his last name was "Anjadi".
Turk: It was a very good day for me!
J.D.: See! This is the kind of stuff I'm gonna miss! The... the reminiscing... the way your breath always smelled of curry...
Cashier: 6.50, please.
Carla: 6.50? For an egg-salad sandwich?
Cashier: 4.50 for the egg-salad, 2 bucks for the apple juice that you put in a urine container.
Carla: Who would do that?!
The Todd butts in with a tray full of nothing but urine containers
Todd: Just the burger for me.
Janitor: Nurse Espinosa, I feel bad about what happened before; and so I went and searched through like forty bags of garbage... And I found the torn off urine label. Also found half a tooth.
Laverne: Over here, jumpsuit!
Carla: Mr. Thomasberg, let's get you to the lab!
Dr. Cox: Hey, studly! Now, when you were out rooting through the dumpster, you didn't stumble across your own testicles, did'ja?
Janitor: Hey, you know that long line of trembling peons that are so afraid of you? Well I'm not in that line.
Dr. Cox: Oh, you're not?
Janitor: No. I'm not in anybody's line.
Laverne: This is a Chicklet!
Janitor: I gotta go.
Carla: Well, I'm telling you, Laverne, by this afternoon we're gonna find out whose urine this is.
Laverne: I got a better idea: Why don't you do that. I'm gonna run across the street and get my tooth fixed so I can stop looking like Larry Holmes.
Elliot: Whoa! Do you actually talk to each other?
Sean: Elliot, come on, he's just a dolphin.
The dolphin squeaks its objection.
Sean: Because, Bruce, then she would think I was crazy, that's why!
J.D.: Anyway, about this whole setting the date thing: I mean, I'm really psyched for you guys, it's just gonna be harder and harder for us to hang out, you know? I mean, you're gonna be married, man! You're gonna have, like, a house! You know? You're gonna be spending your weekends chasing around little Arturo and Rosaria!
Turk: You mean Tamika and Fuquan?
J.D.: You should... talk to Carla...
J.D.: I can't believe you and Carla set a date.
Turk: Yep, it's happening.
Dr. Cox: Wedding talk! Ohh, how lovely!Listen, Hilton sisters: Mr. Quinn in 206 still has a severely shattered clavicle and he needs a surgical consult now. And, seeing as he's your patient, and you're a surgeon, gosh, I was hoping that if you two hens have an extra moment between choosing centerpieces and deciding just exactly how you're gonna attach that veil onto Baldy's head, well, it would just be super-de-duper if you could peek in in there and give him the old lookie-loo; wouldn't it?
