We time is just as important as "me" time.

Peter

• Permalink: We time is just as important as "me" time.
• Added: October 15, 2017

Peter: Well, maybe I can give you half a breadstick later.
Lois: As long as you don't mind a little marinara dipping sauce.
Peter: That's absolutely disgusting. And I love it!

• Permalink: That's absolutely disgusting. And I love it!
• Added: October 15, 2017

Peter: Ugh. It's the guys. What do those losers want?
Lois: Losers? Those are your friends.
Peter: Nah. They're lame. Not one of them has ever vaped at a funeral.

• Permalink: Nah. They're lame. Not one of them has ever vaped at a funeral.
• Added: October 08, 2017

Stryker: Hey come over here. There's someone I want to introduce you to. 1997 George Clooney.
Peter: Wow. That's the coolest George Clooney there is.
Clooney: Hi. George Clooney. Second worst Batman.
Peter: Peter Griffin. Second best Homer.

• Permalink: Peter Griffin. Second best Homer.
• Added: October 08, 2017

Oh, Lois just texted. Burgers or meatballs for dinner? I'll text back for you. Same things, bitch, just different shapes.

Stewie [to Peter]

• Permalink: Oh, Lois just texted. Burgers or meatballs for dinner? I'll text back for you. Same things,...
• Added: October 08, 2017

Anthropologie Associate: Sir. There's nothing strange or useless enough that we don't have here at Anthropologie.
Peter: I know one thing you don't have. Black customers.
Anthropologie Associate: Aaah! I'm melting!

• Permalink: I know one thing you don't have. Black customers.
• Added: October 08, 2017

This Emmy thing goes deep. The same people win year after year after year. It's like there's some kinda secret society that takes all the awards and is keeping us from getting one.

Peter

• Permalink: This Emmy thing goes deep. The same people win year after year after year. It's like there's...
• Added: October 01, 2017

Like all television viewers, our first priority before deciding to continue watching a show should be whether or not it features enough diversity.

Female TV Viewer

• Permalink: Like all television viewers, our first priority before deciding to continue watching a show...
• Added: October 01, 2017

Peter: You guys aren't supporting my choice?
Quagmire: What do you expect, Peter? A sex change operation? Why you doing this?
Peter: I'll tell you why I'm doing all of this. For me. M.E. M.E. I'm doing it for M.E.

• Permalink: I'll tell you why I'm doing all of this. For me. M.E. M.E. I'm doing it for M.E.
• Added: October 01, 2017

The ethnic characters on these Emmy-winning shows aren't exactly rocket scientists are they?

Peter

• Permalink: The ethnic characters on these Emmy-winning shows aren't exactly rocket scientists are they?
• Added: October 01, 2017

Griffins let's make this an Emmy-winning episode, so get all your pukes and farts out now.

Peter

• Permalink: Griffins let's make this an Emmy-winning episode, so get all your pukes and farts out now.
• Added: October 01, 2017

Peter: Family Guy has been around since 1999 and whenever it's time for the Emmy's they never give us one. I'm sick of it.
Lois: Well, I'm not making another episode with The Simpsons. What did that get us? I'll tell you what that got us. More ink for The Simpsons.

• Permalink: Well, I'm not making another episode with The Simpsons. What did that get us? I'll tell you...
• Added: October 01, 2017