One man came and lifted us all up…and that man was me!

So I'm kinda totally on Ron's side.

So, hands in, defeat Ron on three! 1, 2, 3!

Leslie

Hahaha, write down that I'm funny!

And the Tommy Chopper. We sell chopped salad out of a decommissioned military helicopter. I'm a mogul now!

Excuse me, Miss Hanley? Would you mind if I snapped a you-y? It’s what I call selfies of other people.

I hate doing work, but I love being flattered. So maybe I’ll give it another try.

Despite what my pocket square says, I’m not a billionaire.

Tom: What is this, a rotten grapefruit?
Larry: No, it’s my dog’s rectum.

Please, Ron. I’ve never asked you for anything today.

This is the hardest I’ve ever worked on anything since…wow—I’ve never worked hard on anything! What a cool life!

Tom: You’re like a crazy volcano. You’ll have to bring it down a notch.
Craig: I’ll bring it down a dozen notches if I have to!

Parks & Rec Quotes

Tom: I meet a girl at a bar. She seems kind of into me, could go either way. I get her number. It's two days later. What do I text her?
Zach: It was nice meeting you.
Tom: No, Zach. I don't text her it was nice meeting you. I wait eight weeks and I text her, "what's crackin'?"

Ron: Who the hell is 'Fwarp'?
April: I don't know. I couldn't really hear him. It sounded like his name was Fwarp.
Ron: Get his number?
April: No.
Ron: Good girl.