What do people do who don't drink?

• Permalink: What do people do who don't drink?
• Added: February 21, 2016

I can get people to pay me 10 bucks just for doing stupid stuff?

• Permalink: I can get people to pay me 10 bucks just for doing stupid stuff?
• Added: February 21, 2016

Now all I need is a group photo of me kneeling in front of the village so I can brag about what a good person I am.

• Permalink: Now all I need is a group photo of me kneeling in front of the village so I can brag about...
• Added: January 17, 2016

Carter: So that money's just been Josh Hartnetted?
Peter: What's that?
Carter: Gone, disappeared, never to be heard from again.

• Permalink: Gone, disappeared, never to be heard from again.
• Added: January 17, 2016

Spending the day with him is going to be worse than eating at a ballpark.

• Permalink: Spending the day with him is going to be worse than eating at a ballpark.
• Added: January 17, 2016

Besides, it's been a while since we ate at a place where, if you ask for ketchup, they look at your like you're dirt.

• Permalink: Besides, it's been a while since we ate at a place where, if you ask for ketchup, they look...
• Added: January 10, 2016

He's happier than a sunny side up egg.

• Permalink: He's happier than a sunny side up egg.
• Added: January 10, 2016

Just one questions, Stewie. Do you get pleasure out of humiliating your family?

• Permalink: Just one questions, Stewie. Do you get pleasure out of humiliating your family?
• Added: January 10, 2016

Joe: Public opinion has shifted, and the boys upstairs said they can no longer ignore it.
Peter: Who the hell are the boys upstairs?

• Permalink: Who the hell are the boys upstairs?
• Added: December 13, 2015

Lois, I am an unelected vigilante and take my job very seriously.

• Permalink: Lois, I am an unelected vigilante and take my job very seriously.
• Added: December 13, 2015

Or you can pull the hose out of the bucket and let the hose run free.

• Permalink: Or you can pull the hose out of the bucket and let the hose run free.
• Added: November 22, 2015

There are gaps in my knowledge. This is hardly news.

• Permalink: There are gaps in my knowledge. This is hardly news.
• Added: November 22, 2015