Hey Goldenface! Go puck yourself!

Looks like there's gonna be a clean up on aisle five.

Heads I do it. Tails I don't. Best out of seven.

After three years of writing, one year of shooting, four years of re-shooting, and two years of editing, I have finally completed my movie...Threat Level Midnight.

Michael: Holly and I are moving in together. Oscar this must be tough for you, watching this go down. You could not stand in the way of true love my friend.
Oscar: Are you kidding? I wasn't trying to break you guys up.
Kevin: Better luck next time pal!

Michael: Boner Bomb starring Jason Statham. Or go against type with an Eisenberg or Michael Cera.
Dwight: Movie idea?
Michael: Noooo...Saving the world has never been this hard.

Yeah, whatever. No big deal. The hottest girl in the world loves me.

Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet and this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.

I don't sit on your lap because it's comfortable. I sit on your lap because I like the way your thighs feel on my butt.

Dwight: And what is the hookup zone policy on masturbation?
Michael: Pro.

No more pda. You win. But here's what we are gonna do. We are going to designate one of our closets as a hook up zone. Anything goes.

Whispering and tickling have their place in business.

The Office Quotes

Kevin: Michael, did you just throw up in here?
Michael: Nah. Just poopin'. You know how I be.
Kevin: It smells like throw-up in here.
Michael: Crazy world. Lot of smells.

David, here it is. My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter... where. Or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or... or where you've been... ever. For any reason, whatsoever.

Michael