Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXMeg Griffin Quotes
Meg: I totally hit it off with this great guy on the internet and we're finally gonna meet!
Stewie: Okay, remember to ask questions about him. Seem interested. Listen. Giggle. Swallow.
Meg: But Dad, I still don't understand that whole Immaculate Conception thing. How can anyone get pregnant without having sex?
Peter: Oh, there's lots of stories of that, Meg. Cleveland's got a cousin who had 8 girlfriends get pregnant, and he says he's not responsible for a single one.
Meg: I can only imaging what it was like for them on that very first Christmas.
Brian: Yeah, it was probably very moving. And fictional.
Stewie: Jesus lived with us for like a week, what else do you need?
Meg: Oh my god that's so disturbing.
Chris: I know, gross!
Brian: Yeah, my hearing's a lot better so I hear like, suction and stuff.
Brian: And somebody replaced Meg's sleeping pills with Alka-Seltzer.
Meg: People are going to miss me when I [long burp].
What's going on, Mom's acting interesting like a 20-year-old!
Kent: Meg, please stop, I know your heart's in the right place, but...
Meg: Actually, it's not. It's a serious medical condition.
Dr. Hartman: [in flashback] Yeah, that's not supposed to be there, so she should always probably wear a hat.
Oh, I can't believe it! I'm going out on a date with Kent Lastname!
Meg: Hey Kent, it's Meg. From English class?
Kent: Uh...
Meg: And math class? And bio? And the Facebook campaign to get me to kill myself?
Kent: Oh, Meg! Hey, what's up?
There he is, the reason my bedpost is so shiny!
Meg: Oh, he's so cute!
Stewie: Oh my god, we're getting closer to the beginning! You're Lacey Chabert!
Meg: Now my Spanish teacher and I can finally hold hands in the halls!
Spanish Teacher: Donde esta la biblioteca? Because I'm gonna bang you in the biblioteca.
