Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXMeg Griffin Quotes
Chris: Why are your nipples poking into me?!
Meg: Sorry! That happens when I'm cold.
Chris: But why are there THREE of them?!
Meg: They're aren't! Two of them are moles.
Chris: Those numbers still don't add up!
Peter: And Meg, you yourself said lip gloss unicorns Channing Tatum something something bullcrap.
Meg: You were listening the whole time?
They stole all my pens! I...I don't have a lot of stuff.
Chris: I have an itch!
Meg: I don't care! Dead people don't scratch their balls!
Meg: Alright Chris, where is it? And don't try to act like you don't know what I'm talking about.
Peter: Fine, you caught me. So I borrowed your bra, my boobs hurt when I go down the stairs!
Coroner: Meg, I'm needed upstairs, so I'll let you finish up. Just put some blush here and here, it makes the eyes look a little less dead and hollow.
Meg: Wow, that really works! Maybe I'll try that on myself!
Coroner: Oh, uh, you have what we call a 'closed casket' face.
Peter: Shut up, Meg!
Lois: Peter!
Chris: Dad!
Brian: You're back!
Meg: [dejectedly] Yay.
Meg: Now, here's my post office key. I need you to go downtown, and get the stuff from my P.O. box.
Chris: You don't get your mail here?
Meg: No. I get a lot of private correspondence from the Netherlands.
Chris: Like what?
Meg: Like, I'm part of a group that trashes Anne Frank's house every year.
Meg: How about I won't tell Mom and Dad about the money if you promise to do what I say.
Chris: Meg, this is how a lot of porn starts.
Meg: Well, well, well. Who do we have here?
Chris: It's me, Chris. You know me. Why are you talking like a bad guy?
Meg: Ahhhhh! Oh my God! Tobey, what happened?
Tobey: Oh, I just harvested your kidney.
Meg: Look at the size of this scar!
Tobey: Sorry, it's my first day on this job.
Meg: Well, where did you work before?
Tobey: Circuit City. So, I haven't worked in like two years.
Meg: Do you like Coldplay?
Tobey: Am I a dull white guy? Yes, I like Coldplay!
