The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXMarge Simpson Quotes
Geez kids, guess you've had your last birthday. You're going to stay your current ages for the rest of your lives.
Marge: What are we going to do?
Homer: It's not so bad sweety, I took a box of Altoids from her waiting room. The most anyone has ever gotten out of therapy.
Marge: I'm not giving up on Bart, just like I didn't give up on our marriage when you quit your job to start the North American Sumo League.
Homer: The NASL would have made money if someone had washed a few sumo loin cloths for me.
Marge: I said I would do yours, but not the whole dojo.
Lisa: I'm not sure how many more times we can watch dad chased down by an angry crowd before it affects us psychologically.
Dr. Schulman: As a family therapist, I can assure you that you have all the coping skills you need.
Marge: Why is Lisa talking to an empty seat?
Lisa: See you next Tuesday Dr. Schulman! Oh right, you're in Maui.
I will do something no one has ever done, be fun sober!
Homer
Mr. Duff: Why don't you kids run off and play in the bottle cap pit.
Marge: Don't cut yourselves!
These reality shows really leave you no privacy.
I can't believe it, but the church is going to have to ask people for money.
Homer: Marge I believe you're forgetting America's greatest wartime wheelchair-bound leader, Professor X of the X-Men.
Marge: It's not that Professor X wouldn't get up, it's that he couldn't!
Well I guess we've learned that of all the countless planets in the universe, we have evolved into the most inedible species. Like three bean salad at a barbecue, we will remain untouched.
Lisa
Marge: Homer, you have to stop dropping your pants for everyone who claims they're a doctor.
Homer: Fine.
Lisa: Mom, where's dad?
Marge: I don't know.
Bart: Aw it's Christmas Eve man, we do not want to set a precedent for fat guys being late tonight!
