I'm afraid wives don't make passes at husbands who wear those glasses.

Well, there's a rec room off the kitchen. But sometimes it's there and sometimes it isn't. Our house is very odd that way.

Bart sweetie, this is an opportunity for you to turn things around...yet again. And I believe in you...yet again.

Marge: I'm a Schwarzenegger wife!
Homer: But you're also the housekeeper. so it's all good.

Marge: I feel kind of melancholy.
Homer: Hmm...melon-collie.

He's like a husband in a widow's memory, perfect.

Accidental motherhood is the best thing that can happen to a woman.

Homer: Listen, we swore we'd never go to sleep angry at each other.
Marge: I'm not going to sleep.
Homer: Well you didn't have two beers with your lunch.

The most romantic part of this was the hold music when I made the reservation.

Waiter: I hope you are enjoying your sushi.
Marge: It's as yummy as your poorly produced local commercial says.

Marge: I think I hear a slight accent.
Woman: Mid-Atlantic.
Marge: *gasp* That's where they filmed The Wire! Step on it!

Homer: Marge, this is it. TEOTWAWKI.
Marge: The end of the world as we know it?!?