Pam: Michael, she's perfect for you.
Oscar: She's the one.
Jim: She's amazing. This is very exciting.

Dwight: Who is Justice Beaver?
Jim: It's... a crime-fighting beaver.

Goldenface: Sorry about your friend, Scarn.
Michael Scarn: The joke's on you, Goldenface. That man's a wanted animal rapist.

I did not love the dialogue. Or the character. I took the role to impress the receptionist who will remain nameless.

(as Goldenface) Oh someone's coming alright.. the only man who would care - Michael Scarn. See I'm gonna lure him here and I'm gonna kill everybody then I'm gonna dig up Scarn's dead wife and I'm gonna hump her real good. Hahahaha!

Ryan (as NHL coach): On your marks. Get set...
Jim (as Goldenface): Die.

Gabe: Look at Jim and Pam. They don't touch. They don't kiss. You would hardly even know that they were husband and wife.
Jim: Did it. Love it. Keep it goin'.

Pam: What else was there?
Jim: Bottomless champagne.
Pam: Yes. We never found that bottom did we?

Jim: Haven't you noticed that I don't bring up the Tour de France around him?
Michael: Yes!

He really does fit that old stereotype of the smug gay Mexican.

Pam: Does anyone want to know where I've been for the past two hours?
Jim: Oh my God. I've been play zombie soccer for the past two hours?

Dwight: As a fellow Dunder Mifflin employee, I feel for you, but like you, I am completely powerless to the whims of the new building owner.
Jim: Which is you.

The Office Quotes

Kevin: Michael, did you just throw up in here?
Michael: Nah. Just poopin'. You know how I be.
Kevin: It smells like throw-up in here.
Michael: Crazy world. Lot of smells.

David, here it is. My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter... where. Or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or... or where you've been... ever. For any reason, whatsoever.

Michael