Kelly: Well I manage my department, and I've been doing that for several years now, and God I've learned a lot of life lessons along the way.
Jim: Your department's just you right?
Kelly: Yes Jim, but I am not easy to manage.

Dwight: I need you to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior.
Jim: I promiseeeeed other people that I'd be on my worst behavior, and I gave 'em my word so...

Wow you've really embraced the whole Bond villain aesthetic.

Jim: Hey you got a second?
Deangelo: Yeah, I got tons of time. This job's a joke.

Tomorrow I can tell you what a great boss you turned out to be. Best boss I ever had.

Michael: Am I doing the wrong thing?
Jim: Absolutely not. It's just that sometimes, goodbyes are a bitch.

You guys are filming people when they go to the bathroom now?

CeCe if you're watching this at home, it's way past your bed time. By the way, how'd this get televised?

I don't understand the desire to push sweet potato fries on me. I just want regular fries.

Deangelo: You sir, we having fun tonight?
Jim: Having a great time.
Deangelo: Oh good, good. Where were you on September 11th?

They don't ever talk about careers that were MADE because of unplanned pregnancies.

Michael: I want this to be an event that everyone talks about always and forever.
Jim: Totally reasonable.

The Office Quotes

Kevin: Michael, did you just throw up in here?
Michael: Nah. Just poopin'. You know how I be.
Kevin: It smells like throw-up in here.
Michael: Crazy world. Lot of smells.

David, here it is. My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter... where. Or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or... or where you've been... ever. For any reason, whatsoever.

Michael