I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

On this show, all three judges are mean.

Hey Andy, you're making the worst mistake of your life. You're not talented. Well...right back at ya Daryl.

I've been trying to act and manage this branch. Half the time I don't know if I'm wearing my stage makeup or my work makeup.

Andy: What's the mouse's name?
Guy: It really doesn't make sense to name the mice. They're kind of like cannon fodder.

Phyllis: Her hair looks beautiful.
Andy: Yeah we get it Phyllis. She looks like a freakin' movie star!

I wanted to be my generation's Lisa Loeb.

I guess I can cancel my order from Zappos.com, because oh the loafers have arrived.

When I got the nickname Bonerchamp, that's when I became me.

She'll make a wonderful mother to any child who can overlook weird accents.

Banana cream's the first to go. We'll be lucky to get pumpkin at this point.

Nellie! Get your wrinkly old balls in here.

The Office Quotes

Kevin: Michael, did you just throw up in here?
Michael: Nah. Just poopin'. You know how I be.
Kevin: It smells like throw-up in here.
Michael: Crazy world. Lot of smells.

David, here it is. My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter... where. Or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or... or where you've been... ever. For any reason, whatsoever.

Michael