Quotables for Week Ending October 28, 2016
![](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1661721234/user/modwild)
All of the quotes you ever needed from the week ending October 28, 2016.
Right here at your fingertips!
If you want more, click on any of the individual quotes and you can find your way to a whole bounty of others for the show at hand.
1. The Vampire Diaries
![Ian somerhalder as damon salvatore](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s---kXDzWLx--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1371129361/ian-somerhalder-as-damon-salvatore.png)
Damon: So I'm thinking of a person. He's reasonably good looking, charming accent, and he would be the most amazing wingman if he just got rid of his martyr complex.
Enzo: That's not how you play 20 questions. Regardless, your answer is either Jesus Christ, or me.
2. Timeless
![Nazi germany timeless](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Sq13XJfr--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477192787/nazi-germany-timeless.jpg)
Perhaps you can't tell by my accent, but I'm not German, you idiot.
Ian Fleming
3. Scorpion
![The museum heist scorpion](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--7PM8VcS0--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477191996/the-museum-heist-scorpion.jpg)
Because I'm scared to death, not for me to be a father but for Happy to be a mother! Nurturing, kind, and patient are not the hallmarks of Miss Happy Quinn. I'm going to have to mama bear this cub, and it's not like I know what to do! Maybe I should wax my chest in case the milk comes.
Toby
4. Gotham
![The boss gotham season 3 episode 6](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--FHK67H0L--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1476975542/the-boss-gotham-season-3-episode-6.jpg)
Jim: I'm happy.
Vale: Of course you are. You get to drink scotch all day and have sex with me.
5. Shameless
![The homeless shelter shameless](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--OUyEno0C--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477179533/the-homeless-shelter-shameless.jpg)
I am kept woman. You want good life, find someone to keep you.
Svetlana
6. From Dusk Till Dawn
![Taking a break from dusk till dawn](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Xxwp_rJQ--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477232418/taking-a-break-from-dusk-till-dawn.jpg)
Richie: Draw their fire from the church just so we get shot at?
Seth: A key component of that is not getting hit.
Richie: If you were a little more durable, maybe I wouldn't have to take as many bullets for you!
Seth: Yeah, well, we all have our weaknesses, don't we?
7. Masters of Sex
![At arms length masters of sex](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--0dJNWgLF--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477179825/at-arms-length-masters-of-sex.jpg)
I screwed up so many things in my life, but Helen was the one thing I got right. We got each other right. Not that everything was all daffodils, but there was never a sliver of a doubt that we really loved each other 'cause we really did. Sometimes things are so right you don't even think to question them.
Betty
8. Westworld
![The future of the park westworld](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--zRs5rI2r--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477180099/the-future-of-the-park-westworld.jpg)
Clementine: Penny for your thoughts.
Maeve: Ever had something on the tip of your tongue and no matter how much you try to recall it, it slips away?
Clementine: Most things touch the tip of my tongue I'm happy to forget.
9. Once Upon a Time
![The cave of wonders once upon a time season 6 episode 5](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--h19O_xXW--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1476900331/the-cave-of-wonders-once-upon-a-time-season-6-episode-5.jpg)
Shareen: She was helping me find a man who I cared about a long time ago.
Emma: Aladdin?
Shareen: You know him?
Emma: No, I just saw the movie - it's a this world thing.
10. Quantico
![The stand off quantico](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--WCmUdDE9--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477177274/the-stand-off-quantico.jpg)
Wait, Langley? Does that mean we can get dressed up? I'm tired of wearing pants!
Lee
11. NCIS: LA
![Callen and kolcheck ncis los angeles](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--oM8-nMLt--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477172305/callen-and-kolcheck-ncis-los-angeles.jpg)
Kensi is a special agent, not a secret agent, which is fortunate, considering you just told a group of strangers. And technically, I'm a cop.
Deeks [to his mother]
12. The Last Man on Earth
![The first to snap the last man on earth](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--z-8ZR_wZ--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477176005/the-first-to-snap-the-last-man-on-earth.jpg)
Tandy, I usually have your back but today you've been a real pain in the front.
Carol Pilbasian
13. The Walking Dead
![Everyone is haunted the walking dead](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--bi6cWOFf--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477179123/everyone-is-haunted-the-walking-dead.jpg)
Suck my nuts.
Abraham
14. Agents of SHIELD
![The cyberstalker madam secretary](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--mMAdryg3--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1475364012/the-cyberstalker-madam-secretary.jpg)
Elizabeth: What can I help you with?
Daisy: I'm hearing things.
Elizabeth: Inside or outside you head?
15. Jane the Virgin
![Breaking in in america jane the virgin](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--donTKZQT--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477253378/breaking-in-in-america-jane-the-virgin.png)
Rafael: So you're a married virgin...
Jane: I am, yes. A married virgin with a one year old son.
16. Supergirl
![The president arrives supergirl season 2 episode 3](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s---db6kZWB--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1476382309/the-president-arrives-supergirl-season-2-episode-3.jpg)
Maggie: I thought the Secret Service would pay closer attention to detail.
Alex: We have technology that makes your city PD lab look like an Easy Bake Oven.
17. Lucifer
![Concerned lucifer season 2 episode 5](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--SH6mpv1e--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1476985334/concerned-lucifer-season-2-episode-5.jpg)
You and Maze are like snow pants and elephants.You don't mix.
Lucifer
18. This Is Us
![Steelers fans this is us](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--yHCyQZBl--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477255374/steelers-fans-this-is-us.jpg)
Beth: Bedtimes are at eight and nine; that's teeth brushed and in the bed by eight and nine.
Kevin: So one Sambuca to chase down the ambien and then lights out, right?
19. The Flash
![Scarlett speedsters the flash](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--K2swHP1d--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1476905009/scarlett-speedsters-the-flash.jpg)
Caitlin: The team doesn't feel complete without Harrison Wells.
Harry: Then change that. There's a whole multiverse of Harrison Wells out there at your fingertips. Want one? Let's go get one.
20. No Tomorrow
![A free spirited friend no tomorrow](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Az_shd7e--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477258700/a-free-spirited-friend-no-tomorrow.jpg)
I just can't let her whisper to me ever again.
Hank
21. Bull
![Turning down a payday bull](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--0eOVVDAa--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477254485/turning-down-a-payday-bull.jpg)
Bull: If you just murdered someone would you go sleep on a park bench?
Marisa: It's hard to say, I've never murdered anyone but don't push me.
22. NCIS: NOLA
![Plane crash in the bayou ncis new orleans](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s---iw1u7A---/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477254745/plane-crash-in-the-bayou-ncis-new-orleans.jpg)
Gregorio [about Sebastian]: These tangents, are these common?
Percy: It's a lovable quirk.
Sebastian: Thanks, Percy.
23. NCIS
![Abby sciuto photo](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--F6EGgMOW--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1371134928/abby-sciuto-photo.png)
Abby: Gibbs, I can't have a conversation by myself!
Gibbs: It's never stopped you before.
24. Pitch
![On edge pitch](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--MbJtFBF1--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477358488/on-edge-pitch.jpg)
Mike: I remember my first deadline. I couldn't sleep for a week.
Blip: Oh here we go, Grandpa story time! Somebody, get him a pipe and some ear hair. Oh wait, hold on, no all he needs is the pipe.
25. Queen Sugar
![Aunt vi worries queen sugar s1e8](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--qy_iRoNr--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477439379/aunt-vi-worries-queen-sugar-s1e8.png)
Micah: Are you okay?
Vi: I will be as soon as Nova answers her phone. She's dodging calls like I'm a damn bill collector.
26. Younger
![House party younger](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--yo6i5QsC--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477463430/house-party-younger.jpg)
Charles: Something's different about you. I can't quite put my finger on it.
Diana [to herself]: Oh, you can put your finger on it.
27. Arrow
![Oliver and lylas plan arrow](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--JrbwcBmk--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477355534/oliver-and-lylas-plan-arrow.jpg)
How are we supposed to get to the SCPD, call an Uber or something?
Curtis
28. Law & Order: SVU
![A difficult situation law and order svu](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--VXd6hhq2--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477278808/a-difficult-situation-law-and-order-svu.jpg)
Rollins: Janie, do you know why you're here?
Janie: Because I was an idiot and drank too much and got alcohol poisoning.
29. Frequency
![Flashes of memory frequency](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--lH0UUWhN--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477259897/flashes-of-memory-frequency.jpg)
Here, let me get this straight. You're afraid to sleep with the guy at work who you don't remember, because you'd be cheating on the guy who doesn't remember you? [strikes his beer bottle] Shame...shame...shame...
Gordo
30. Criminal Minds
![The appalachian trail criminal minds](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--WEWOvC1c--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477261954/the-appalachian-trail-criminal-minds.jpg)
To abduct, kill and dispose of that many victims takes skill and sophistication. But the man in that video looks like he would have a hard time tying his own shoes.
JJ [to Rossi]
31. American Horror Story: Roanoke
![Secrets are revealed american horror story](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--9vCWvJzO--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477355889/secrets-are-revealed-american-horror-story.png)
You're the Butcher. My idol. My maker. Oh! I'm sorry. [crying] I just wanted to be on TV.
Agnes
32. Designated Survivor
![Defining his presidency designated survivor](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--E8yhvjsz--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477275647/defining-his-presidency-designated-survivor.jpg)
And may God have mercy on them, because the United States Navy will have none.
Commander Clark
33. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
![Sports skills crazy ex girlfriend](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--eEvdxl2F--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477259014/sports-skills-crazy-ex-girlfriend.jpg)
Ping-pong girl - she's like Serena or Venus, just watching her swing affects my penis. You know us dudes, we love to talk about our penises.
Josh
34. The Big Bang Theory
![A sheldon style brunch the big bang theory](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--jhDkOLai--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477261221/a-sheldon-style-brunch-the-big-bang-theory.jpg)
I hope it's not a West Coast party, because according to the man on the radio, a West Coast party don't stop.
Sheldon
35. Legends of Tomorrow
![Feudal japan dcs legends of tomorrow](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--h0JDZXhI--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477259499/feudal-japan-dcs-legends-of-tomorrow.jpg)
Sara: How does the showgun even know how to use the ATOM suit?
Ray: I designed it so an idiot could use it.
Mick: An idiot does.
36. Rosewood
![A perplexing case rosewood](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--ZAt8aYmy--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1477357737/a-perplexing-case-rosewood.jpg)
Rosewood: Mitchie, you're a genius.
Mitchie: I am? I am! Wait, why?