There was not a way out that wouldn’t destroy you.

I got pregnant and I thought I was wrong. I was told I was wrong. I was told I would love being a mother. I was told the minute I held you in my arms that I would forget about every dream I had before you, but that didn’t happen. You were born and I loved you, but I also resented, and I resented your father for getting to do the one thing we both wanted to do. I was so depressed. I became unstable, self-loathing, angry, violent. That was a different time. No one ever talked about mental health back then, especially not for mothers. I felt hopeless. I felt like a failure. I wanted to die because there was no way out. There was not a way out that wouldn’t destroy you, but I loved you. I still love you, Andy.

Elena

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Episode:
Station 19 Season 4 Episode 1: "Nothing Seems the Same"
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Station 19
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Station 19 Season 4 Episode 1 Quotes, Station 19 Quotes
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Station 19 Season 4 Episode 1 Quotes

Maya: Hey, a reminder for the virtual memorial service for Capt. Herrera will take place this afternoon.
Vic: I can’t believe after all the crap we went through to get him his line of duty funeral we have to do it on the fricking internet.
Maya: Agreed.
Jack: Tell me again why we can’t just wait until after lockdown? He was cremated anyway.
Travis: ‘Cause we don’t know when after lockdown is going to be.
Jack: It can’t be more than a couple weeks, right?
Ben: Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.

Tucker: Mom.
Joey: Miranda.
Bailey: My boys. What? Benjamin Warren, you are a sight for sore eyes and back and feet. I miss you.
Ben: I miss you.

Station 19 Season 4 Episode 1

Station 19 Season 4 Episode 1 Photos

  1. Quotes
  2. There was not a way out that wouldn’t destroy you.