Tulsa King
Sundays on Paramount+Tulsa King Quotes
You know, I feel like Rip Van Winkle. You wake up after 25 years, and GM has gone electric, Dylan has gone public, a phone is a camera, coffee? Five bucks a cup. And the Stones, bless their heart, they're still on tour.
Dwight
Stacy: Listen, I need you to know that if you get jammed up here, there's nothing' I can do to help you out.
Dwight: I don't expect you to. We done, Miss Stacy Beale?
Chickie: How's Tulsa treating ya?
Dwight: Are you kiddin' me? It's like the Paris of the southwest.
Tyson: Why'd you go to jail?
Dwight: I didn't go to jail. I went to prison. Jail's like a five-star resort they put you in before they send you to prison.
Tyson: So, what'd you do?
Dwight: Ah, I tore the tongue outta this guy who kept asking so many stupid questions.
Tyson: That's a bit excessive, don't you think?
Dwight: I'm impressed.
Dwight: This is why people break the law because they make everything legitimate so frigging complicated.
Tyson: It ain't all that complicated. We'll just get you a new license.
Dwight: You're such a good citizen.
I married this life, and after keeping my mouth shut for all these years, I'm gonna see if it married me back.
Dwight
Bodhi: Isn't that illegal?
Dwight: You sell pot, for Chrissakes.
Donny: Donny Shore. What can I do ya for?
Dwight: Perry Como. Nice to meet you.
Dwight: I need to see your books.
Bodhi: My books?
Dwight: Yeah, your books, your ledgers, files, whatever you got.
Bodhi: Are you from the government?
Dwight: I just knocked your guard out cold, and you think I'm a CPA?
You know, someone's got to slap some good grammar into your mouth and that's gonna be me.
Dwight
Dwight [exiting the airport and accosted by a grasshopper]: Whoa! What the hell is that?
Woman: It's a grasshopper. They're harmless.
Dwight: That thing's the size of my cock!
Woman: Excuse me?
Dwight: Actually, I'm more endowed than that, so [she sprays him in the face with holy water].
