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The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 22 Quotes
Only you can make tree poop boring.
Bart
We had a safe full of gold and it didn't ride that low.
Louie
Aunt Selma is treating a mob boss like an ordinary tax payer!
Lisa
Aww, I was standing in this line to use the bathroom, but now my license is expired.
Homer
You're as pure as the ether that puts you to sleep.
Lisa
I can't stand to see one of my female children unhappy.
Homer
God, if you don't bring my Lisa home safe, ants will burn tonight!
Nelson
Prepare to have everything you knew about milk cans challenged!
Lisa
In 1957 I saw him turn turn the Secretary of Agriculture into the Secretary of the Interior. It was hell on their wives, but it sure brought down corn prices. Built a house out of corn. It was the worst home I ever owed? when it got really hot it smelled like Frito's.
Grampa
Great Raymondo: This is a house of magic.
Lisa: Sounds like most of it is owned by the bank.
Great Raymondo: But the rest of it is magic.
Hello boat store, I'd like to order a boat. What do you mean dial tone?
Homer
Masseuses - half doctors, half hookers that solve everything.
Homer