The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Quotes
Bart: I saved you.
Lisa: But you pushed me!
Bart: Duh, I couldn't save you until I pushed you. Girls make no sense.
Lisa: I was pretending, and it worked!
Bart: You know kid, with your smarts and my Barts, we make a good team!
Lisa: What are Barts?
Bart: You're the smart one, you figure it out.
Maude: My bladder's going to burst.
Ned: Now I know you've had a few too many waters, but that is no reason for the sailor talk.
Marge: What are we going to do?
Homer: It's not so bad sweety, I took a box of Altoids from her waiting room. The most anyone has ever gotten out of therapy.
Lisa: Remember when Apu let dad have the expired hot dog?
Homer: Just once and I'm still taking medication for it.
Milhouse: Fie?
Bart: Yeah, look it up.
Milhouse: Used to express disgust or outrage? That's the worst F word there is!
Bart: Dad, are you gonna snitch on me?
Homer: Moes before bros.
Oh, you must be Flanders' new dog. I just want to apologize in advance for the things I'm gonna blame on you.
Homer
Marge: I'm not giving up on Bart, just like I didn't give up on our marriage when you quit your job to start the North American Sumo League.
Homer: The NASL would have made money if someone had washed a few sumo loin cloths for me.
Marge: I said I would do yours, but not the whole dojo.
Chief Wiggum: I've got everything I need to convict your boy, except for motive, means, and opportunity.
Lou: You also have no evidence.
Chief Wiggum: That's implied.
Lisa: I'm not sure how many more times we can watch dad chased down by an angry crowd before it affects us psychologically.
Dr. Schulman: As a family therapist, I can assure you that you have all the coping skills you need.
Marge: Why is Lisa talking to an empty seat?
Lisa: See you next Tuesday Dr. Schulman! Oh right, you're in Maui.
I will do something no one has ever done, be fun sober!
Homer
