Scrubs Season 3 Quotes
"I do." And then it's classy kiss... Or sexy kiss... Or slutty kiss...
Carla
Sean: So, what have you been up to?
Elliot: Doctor stuff. Heh. You?
Sean: Oh, I-I was crying a lot. And then I got really emotionally numb. Um, oh, and this morning, I jammed a salad fork two inches into my thigh to see if I could still feel the pain.
Elliot: And?
Sean: Oh, yeah.
Elliot: Good.
Todd: Dude, that pick-up line you gave me for all the Spanish chicks is not working.
Marco: Maybe you're saying it wrong. Let's hear it.
Todd(Translated): I have genital herpes... for you.
Marco: Nope. That's right. Keep trying.
Todd(Translated): Many herpes!... Big! Oh, yeah!
Carla: I can't believe he's not here yet!
J.D.: Don't worry! I made it!
Carla: I don't care about you, you idiot!
J.D.(to the priest): They had premarital sex.
Worthless Peons: "(Bum-bum-bum) Hava nagila, hava nagila, hava na-"
J.D.: Ted! Church!
Ted: We do mostly Bar Mitzvahs.
Turk: What do you mean, disaster? Honey, this is an amazing wedding! And I know what you're gonna say - we didn't actually get married. But you know what? Tonight, you and I, we're gonna rip it up. And then we're gonna hop on a plane to the Bahamas, where you and I can get married tomorrow amongst the fishes and mermaids and whatnot.
Carla: Turk, for the last time, mermaids aren't real!
Turk: I know what I saw!
Turk: Dr. Miller, look, it's a really small wedding, and you're an amazing boss, and I feel really bad about it, so...there's a wedding brunch tomorrow, and it's only for family and really close friends, and...well, we'd love for you to be there.
Dr. Miller: That would mean the world to me!
Turk: Okay, I didn't think you were gonna say yes. There's no brunch.
J.D.: Hey, where's the fuzzy cover for my one-wood?
Turk: It's on my nine-wood.
J.D.: Aw, dude! My mom made that!
Turk: Hey. How's it going, Mr. Fitzpatrick?
Mr. Fitzpatrick: Actually, it's Father Fitzpatrick.
Carla: Could you do us a quick favor?
Dr. Kelso: Ahhh! Dr. Turkleton!
Turk: Actually, sir, it's Turk.
Dr. Kelso: That's your first name.
Turk: You think my name is Turk Turkleton?
Carla: Turk, we're heading over to St. John's.
J.D.: Thought you guys were getting married at Holy Trinity?
Carla: St. John's is cheaper.
Turk: Oh, plus the priest there looks like Captain Sulu.
Carla: No, that's the priest at Trinity.
Turk: Oh, baby, I wanted to be married by Sulu!
Turk: Gimme that appendix! Let's close this guy up, and I'm outta here!
Dr. Miller: Wait. Look at his lesions on his peritoneum.
Turk: Oh, no.
Dr. Miller: Dr. Turk...what do you think we should do?
Turk: Leave a post-it in there for the next guy?
