Scrubs Season 3 Episode 18: "His Story II" Quotes
Heeeey! That old clown was really good. So, uh, you got some really big shoes to fill!... Dammit, I'm funny!
Carla
Elliot: Guys! Three long years of busting my hump at this place and it has finally paid off!
J.D.: You got the fellowship?
Elliot: No! I get to be the clown in Pediatrics!
J.D.: I already got my shifts covered for the next two days! Besides, where're you gonna find somebody else? You think Lonnie, my intern, gives a rat's ass about acute thomrobotic thrombocytopenic purpura?
Lonnie: ATTP? It killed my father.
Dr. Cox: You're in.
Lonnie: It is gonna be so amazing working on the disease that tore my family apart.
J.D.: Kiss ass.
Today's gonna be a great day. Still, no time to dilly-dally - God, that's a fun phrase - I have to meet Dr. Cox in five- Good God! Check out those dilly-dallies!
J.D.'s Narration
Oh and this must be your Hobbit, I mean husband... of course. I rented Lord Of The Rings last night so... I would do Frodo. He's short too.
</i> Elliot
Turk: Wussuuuuuuuup, Bry-Bry! You, my friend, have just won the lottery. I'm not saying I'm good, but if there was a surgeon awards show around here, it'd be called The Turkies. You know what I'm sayin'?
Dr. Cox: (To Brian) You don't have to know what he's sayin' - none of us do.
Elliot: [on phone] Sean, I'm just bummed that I'm so busy I might not be able to do this clown thing today. I know I'm a doctor first, but what about that summer I spent at clown academy? I mean, it's starting to seem like that was just a giant waste of time. I wish you were here. I can't believe you've been in New Zealand for 5 months.
Sean: [on phone] I can't believe you still haven't figured out the time difference. It's 4 A.M. here!
Never stop pedaling, Allie, you'll be a shoe-in for the girl X-games.
Dr. Cox
J.D.: Laverne, what will you give me if I get this jelly bean in your cleavage?
Laverne: A concussion.
Dr. Miller: Oh, no, no, no. I'm not going. I have a date. And even if I didn't, I don't think I'd want to go to a snooze-fest with a bunch of drunk proctologists just so you could get your picture in the latest edition of Bend Over Weekly.
Dr. Kelso: A simple "I'm busy" would have sufficed.
Oh, this is bad. Okay, what did I do? Think. I accidentally got her a present on my ex-girlfriend's birthday. I referred to that new cute nurse as a young Carla Espinosa - damn, that was stupid. I've been known to leave my toenail clippings on her throw pillow. Oh, and I forgot to put the toilet seat down last night and she bruised her butt!
Turk's Narration
Turk: Babe, I've never screwed up a kid's life before. I mean, I've had minor slip-ups, and that watch you gave me for Christmas may still be inside Mr. Conte, but... nothing like this.
Carla: That watch is inside Mr. Conte? Well, thank God! All this time I thought you didn't like it!