Reaper Season 1 Episode 4: "Magic" Quotes
You know, Sam, sarcasm is the lowest form of social discourse
Devil
You put the contract for my soul with my third-grade report card and Mr. Huggles?
Sam
Minions. You know who works for me in my central office? White-collar criminals. They hate me, they hate their jobs. I'm lucky if I get coffee in the morning
Devil
Sam, life's too short to drink domestic
Devil
Sock: Hi, Gladys. You look ummm today.
Gladys: Place the vessel on the mat.
Sock: Whoa, it's gonna be kind of difficult with all that sexual tension pushing back
Driver: Go to Hell, jerk!
Devil: I'll meet you there, Bruce. You know that little thing on his neck? Not a freckle
Ben: You know, I've never seen a dead body up close before. It's messed up.
Sock: I know, right? I mean, you'd think that seeing Scarface all those times, I'd be better prepared for that, but...
Ben: Nobody's hurting Winston.
Sam: Who's Winston?
Ben: The bird.
Sam: You... named the vessel?
Sock: Dude, Winston is not a bird's name, Ben.
Ben: Okay, well you tell me what a bird's name is.
Sock: I don't know, uh, how about Flappy? Or Paul
Customer: How much for the flat screen?
Sock: A million dollars. Try Best Buy
Sam: We are not machines, we are not robots.
Sock: Be cooler if we were robots.
Sam: Yeah.
Sock: You know who I'd be if I were a robot?
Sam: Who?
Sock: The hot chick from Terminator 3. First I would tear this building down brick by brick, then I would go home, lock myself in the bedroom, and stare at my boobs for as long as I wanted.
Sam: Yeah.
Sock: Which would be a long time
I'm too disgruntled, all right. I mean, give me a break, no talking at work. I mean, what's next, take away the air I breathe? Take away the beer that I'm about to drink on my break?
Sock
Devil: Forget about the contract.
Sam: No, no. I wanna see it.
Devil: But why?
Sam: Because I wanna know my rights.
Devil: Oh, that's easy. You don't have any