Parks and Recreation Season 3 Quotes
Ron: Is this everybody?

Donna: Ann took a cab. Tom's in the trunk. Jerry's on the roof.
Leslie: John Ralphio!

John: Yes, I'm here.

Leslie: Dance up on me.
And let's be honest, it would be nice to not have to pull strange things out of people's butts every night.
Leslie
Re-elect Jan Cooper, Mayor of Whorewille.
Chris
Chlamydia affects nearly 100% of Jan Coopers.
Chris
Jan Cooper will give you Chlamydia. Brought to you by the Pawnee Department of Public Health.
Chris
I won't publicly endorse a product unless I use it exclusively and I really believe in it. My only official recommendations are US Army issued mustache trimmers, Morton's Salt, and the C.R. Lawrence fine two inch style oscillating knife blade.
Ron
I want this night to get krazy. Get me a shot of snake juice. I hear it has a dope aftertaste.
Ron
Meeting in one hour. If you don't make it you're on my donezo list.
Tom
Leslie: Do you remember what you said to me five years ago when Eagleton offered me that job and I asked you for your advice?
Ron: Do whatever the hell you want. What do I care?
Leslie: Right, but then after, when I pressed you, what did you say?
Ron: I believe I said that I thought we worked well together, and that I might disagree with your philosophy but I respected you. And I said that you'll get a lot of job offers in your life but you only have one hometown.
Leslie: Yes, that's how I remember it.
The only thing I'm guilty of is loving Pawnee. And punching Lindsay in the face and shoving a coffee filter down her pants.
Leslie
Oh dude, you forgot to put a shirt on. Don't worry I do it all the time.
Andy