NCIS
Mondays 8:00 PM on CBSNCIS Season 8 Quotes
Butt out McGee. Butt off my desk, Borin.
Gibbs
We've gone from Socrates to Snooki.
Ducky
Tony: Agent McGee, probationary agent to be good morning.
Ziva: Looks like Tony.
McGee: Doesn't sound like him.
Abby: I've had problems with visitors, so he [McGee] was just being overprotective.
Neisler: Protective of what, your butt? He couldn't stop checking it out when your back was turned.
Abby: Really?
Neisler: But I can see why you'd want to keep things casual.
Abby: Why is that?
Neisler: What if he's 'the one'? You're obviously married to your work, it's too soon to meet 'the one'.
Abby: We're done. (To Gibbs) Gibbs, can you make him go away, please?
McGee: The last time you did my expense report for me, you reclassified my meals as 'livestock feed'!
Tony: Well, that was childish.
McGee: I was audited!
Tony: Well, that makes us even.
Tony: Maybe instead of having a midlife crisis, I'm having a midlife crazy.
Ziva: Look, you are not crazy. You are just... growing up. And some lessons are more painful as we grow older, because the stakes are higher. You need to find balance! Yes, yes, yes, you need to treat people more respectfully, especially when it comes to matters... of the heart. But you need to be who you are.
Tony: And who am I?
Ziva: You are Tony DiNozzo. The class clown. And that is why we love you.
Gibbs: Facebook. That's that thing that some people... do stuff with?
Ducky: The term is social networking.
McGee: Hey, where is Boss, anyway?
Malachi: He's in Interrogation.
Liat: With Director David.
Tony: Oh! This is like Clash of the Titans. We should be there.
Ziva: It's a closed show.
Agent Sharp: It's like herding cats, huh, Agent McGee?
McGee: I don't like it at all, Agent Sharp. I've got a dozen other retired agents. I have Branch, I've got Morrow, I've got Nedrow. I have more directors than the front row of the Oscars.
McGee: I've got alerts at the train stations, bus stations, local LEOs up and down the coast as well as any and all hardware shipments, commercial or military. I have hung a net.
Ziva: I do not know who Annette is, or why you are so proud of killing her.
McGee: No, what I mean is, if they make a move, we're gonna know about it.
Tony: Still won't keep you hacky types from stealing my numbers from the matrix, anyway. (waves wallet over credit card reader) Look at it, doesn't work!
McGee: That's right. You should still be terrified of my kind.
Ziva: (laughs and gets the card reader to work) And apparently 22-year-old girls.
Tony: I refuse to be afraid of 22-year-old girls, no matter what kind of... magical pick-pocketing devices they're sporting. You know who the real victim is? Artistry.
Ziva: If someone wants something out of your pants, they should have to use their hands.
Ziva: We cannot really be sure that, because this girl crossed paths with him here yesterday, we will cross paths with him today.
Tony: Also can't be sure that Gibbs will be swilling coffee when we get back to the office, or you'll fumble a simple American expression, or that McGee will sleep alone tonight - but, people do tend to follow patterns.
