Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Season 2 Episode 17: "Two Monkeys and a Panda" Quotes
Mitchell: Who signed an agreement for a sixteen year health club membership?
Cameron: You have to spend money to save money.
I had to undress a mannequin while a creepy guy filmed it, so we have that to look forward to on the Internet.
Claire
Manny: I made a reference to The Wiggles and it went right over her head.
Jay: I don't know what that means.
Manny: It's an expression. It means she didn't get it.
I want them to share clothes, do each others hair and gossip about boys. Like i did with Mitchell.
Claire
Whoa, whoa, maybe it's all the creams, that just made sense, girlfriends.
Phil
Gloria: Tell them we don't want our bodies inside these drawers where God cannot find us.
Jay: These aren't like our drawers at home. People can find stuff here.
There's enough not to like about death without adding dirt and worms.
Jay
Ta-da is for when you do a flip or where the magician cuts the pretty lady in half, not when you show someone where you want to shove their dead body.
Gloria
She makes me feel like a fifth grader again.
Manny
Manny: Jay, haven't you noticed the spring in my step?
Jay: Oh, kids say cruel things, that doesn't mean you'll turn out that way.
Manny: No, we have something in common. I'm seeing a younger woman.
Relax, more than half the eleventh grade has been in that sweater.
Alex [to Haley]
What did Oprah do now
Mitchell [to Cam]