House of Lies Quotes
Monica: Do you know what a golden shower is?
Roscoe: When it's sunny and it rains?
Monica: Oh that's magical.
When in Rome bitches!
Clyde
Now I would rather blow a deaf donkey than stay in one of these places, but they are undeniably profitable.
Marty
There's a lot of blue on this page.
Doug
I smoked better weed than this with my seventh grade teacher.
Jeannie
Clyde: Which Clooney was that because I've never seen that in my entire life?
Doug: The Facts Of Life Clooney, TV's everyman.
Clyde: TV Clooney is not the real Clooney unless you're talking about ER then barely maybe one season of Clooney.
Don't poke the bear when he's hungry. He was a nightmare on Jenny Craig.
Roscoe
Marty: You, the one who started this whole thing from your dorm room while spanking the monkey before your eight o'clock.
Doug: God, he's takin' me back.
Jeannie: Mmm me too.
I bet your dad has to piss vodka just to get a blowie.
Jeannie
I would let a homeless schizophrenic rub my feet.
Jeannie
Shut up, I'm not drunk!
Jeannie
It's very cute the way you all are sort of learning at your own pace.
Marty