Futurama Season 2 Episode 20: "Anthology of Interest 1" Quotes
Leela: I'm sorry, I couldn't stop- W-Wait. Don't you care that I murdered Hermes?
Bender: Not even a little. There's nothing wrong with murder, just so long as you let Bender wet his beak.
Sure is shocking about the Professor, huh?. And now Hermes is mysteriously missing. Anyhow, it doesn't affect me, Bender. Hey, what's this? Hermes' dreadlocks? And his arm? Leela, I'm shocked. Food goes in the disposal, hair and flesh go in the trash!
Bender
Hermes: What are you hacking off? Is it my torso? It is! My precious torso!
Zoidberg: Hermes, quiet! I'm deducing things.
Alright, anteater number one, who are you protecting? Is it anteater number two? Don't stick your tongue out at me. I need a name! (An anteater makes a noise) What? How do you spell that?
Zoidberg
Hermes: Perhaps the Professor's files can clear things up. "Citation for public nudity", "Conspiracy to commit public nudity"... Aha! A new will! Naming... you as his sole heir.
Leela: That doesn't prove I killed him.
Hermes: It's a video will. It shows you killing him.
Police? Bah! Nosy meddlers! It so happens I have mail order degrees in Murderology and Murderonomy.
Zoidberg
Hermes: Sweet giant anteater of Saint Anita! The Professor's been eaten by giant anteaters!
Zoidberg: What?
Hermes: If y'ask me, it's mighty suspicious! I'm gonna call the police... right after I flush some things.
Leela: OK, just try to be nonchalant.
Zoidberg: Alright, so you're nonchalant. Quit rubbing our noses in it.
Farnsworth: I can't live forever and I need an heir. Someone to spend my vast riches and take care of my man-eating anteaters when I'm gone. The others simply aren't level-headed enough. They're too impulsive. Not like you. Not like old, predictable, dull-as-dishwater Leela.
Leela: Hello? New boots!
Farnsworth: That's why I've made you my sole heir. The day I die, you'll be a very wealthy woman. Oh, my, yes. Incredibly wealthy. The day I die. Because you're so unimpulsive.
Farnsworth: Well, Leela, care to give the What-If machine a whirl?
Leela: Maybe later. I-I mean, I don't know what to ask about.
Hermes: Come on, woman! Just pick something.
Fry: Yeah, be more impulsive. Like this.
He picks up a box of Admiral Crunch, tips the contents on his head and pours milk over it
Bender: Go, man! Go!
Fry eats the cereal from his head
Leela: I can be really impulsive. It just takes me a while.
Fry chops a banana onto his head
Fry: Nooo! Are you people satisfied? This gentle visitor is dying! And we'll never even know why he came.
Bender: I'll tell you... with my final breath.
Bender: Hey, I called this city! Quit touching my stuff!
Zoidberg: Tell it to claw.
Bender: Bite my colossal metal ass!