Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 13 Quotes
Doctor: How do you feel?
Quagmire's Mom: Horny. Really horny. Could you put him back so I can push him out again?
Stewie: Which is hugging someone really hard with your legs.
Brian: Nope.
Stewie: Oh, well you'll tell me if I get it right?
Does this mean you're going to move to Europe to make movies?
Peter
I don't want to go to jail, but I really want to take credit.
Quagmire
Random Party-Goer: You want to go upstairs?
Meg: Sure!
Random Party-Goer: Good. Go.
Have you seen my copy of "Into the WIld?"
Peter
Let's go take a ride in my open jeep. I took the doors off so it's extra terrifying.
Peter
No, I'm sorry. I thought this was a bank.
Peter
You shouldn't have to do porn to feel appreciated.
Lois
Wait, hold on Brian, everyone deserves a proper funeral. Why do you think we're saving that VCR box in the basement?
Stewie
Stewie: Hey Brian, show her your Boost mobil phone.
Brian: Stewie has AIDs.
Peter: It feels like just yesterday, she was born!
Doctor: You want to cut the cord?
Peter: Yeah, sure!
Doctoer: Okay that wasn't the cord, and now you've got a girl.