Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 9 Episode 13: "Trading Places" Quotes
Hey what do you guys do after the screen goes black?
Doctor Hartman
I guess we learned that no matter who you are or where you come from, life is a terrible thing.
Peter
Lois: Oh my god! I think Chris is having a heart attack!
Peter: We're not supposed to leave the table!
Lois: Chris, have you been drinking?
Chris: Yes, have you been aging?
Well high school is like Lord of the Flies. It's like a social experiment. And I hear Canadian high schools are even worse!
Chris
No, no, Peter, you're still you; you're just a teenager, you're not switching genders.
Lois
Damn right I do! It's because I make all the money! I'm the big..."Mamu" around here!
Peter
It's like putting your penis to sleep in a feather bed.
Peter
Meg: Chris, look at what you did!
Chris: You mean look at what two black teenagers did when they stole Dad's bike...
Chris: Hey Meg! I'm going to jump that fire hydrant!
Meg: Chris don't! You're going to wreck Dad's bike!
Chris: Too late! I already narrowed my eyes!