Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 3 Episode 21: "Family Guy Viewer Mail #1" Quotes
Genie: I am here to grant you three wishes.
Lois: Peter, three wishes. Oh this is so exciting.
Meg: I want a new hat
Chris: I want a new hat
Stewie: I want them to have new hats!
Peter: Hey, is the Count a Vampire?
Brian: What's that?
Peter: Well he's got these big fangs. Have they ever shown him doin' somebody in and then feedin' on em?
Brian: You're, you're asking me if they've ever done a Seseme Street in which the Count kills somebody and then sucks their blood for sustenance
Peter: Yeah
Brian: No, they've never done that
Tom, you're so far in the closet, you're finding Christmas presents
Little Diane
Why don't you two make like Siamese twins and split... and then one of you die.
Peter
Well, we promised Lois we'd use our powers responsibly, but I suppose doing the exact opposite couldn't hurt
Peter
Little Peter: Wow, that Lois is some kinda woman.
Little Quagmire: Yeah, just thinkin' about her makes my testicles wanna drop. Ooh, speak of the devil. Ooh, make that devils
Doctor: Mayor West, you have Lymphoma.
Adam West: Oh My.
Doctor: Probably from rolling around in that toxic waste. What in God's name were you trying to prove?
Adam West: I was trying to gain super powers.
Doctor: Well that's just silly.
Adam West: Silly, yes...idiotic...yes