Eddie: I am not working with Vorhees!
Anthony: Come again?
Eddie: Jamie and I arrested him for abusing his parolees! This guy makes eels look non-slippery.

• Permalink: Jamie and I arrested him for abusing his parolees! This guy makes eels look non-slippery.
• Added: April 30, 2021

This guy has a type. Petit, bubbly, and blonde. And apparently that's not me.

Anthony

• Permalink: This guy has a type. Petit, bubbly, and blonde. And apparently that's not me.
• Added: April 30, 2021

Man: Oh my God. My mom lay there all that time all alone?
Danny: And yet it took 24 hours for you to get here.

• Permalink: And yet it took 24 hours for you to get here.
• Added: April 30, 2021

Garrett: This show is so left-wing they won't even mention the right lane. You should at least listen to it before you go on.
Frank: I do. Every morning.
Garrett: You do?
Frank: Look, we need to get our voice out there, especially to their listeners.

• Permalink: Look, we need to get our voice out there, especially to their listeners.
• Added: April 30, 2021

Jamie: Number 3.
Cop: Conduct yourself with integrity. Always strive to be better than what's expected. And number 4 is always put value on human life.
Jamie: I've never heard anyone state the mission statement word for word before. Now for the most important question: what happened in Jaws?

• Permalink: what happened in Jaws?
• Added: April 30, 2021

Anthony: So you like him? You like being around him?
Erin: Yes, I like being around him. That's why once upon a time I married him.
Anthony: Well, I don't like him. You want to hear why?
Erin: No, I don't, because I've heard it all from my family.
Anthony: So why don't you listen to everyone who loves you?
Erin: Because they hold every bad thing he's done in his life against him forever. It's like Irish Alzheimers. They forget everything except the grudges.

• Permalink: Because they hold every bad thing he's done in his life against him forever. It's like Irish...
• Added: April 16, 2021

I should have stopped the son-of-a-bitch in his tracks. If I were still in the field, this never would have happened. You said that if I felt it was time to move on, you wouldn't stand in my way. Well, it's time.

Abigail

• Permalink: I should have stopped the son-of-a-bitch in his tracks. If I were still in the field, this...
• Added: April 16, 2021

Frank: I guess I don't have to ask how you're doing.
Baker: Is this the part where I say you should see the other guy? My hands were full of my grandma's groceries. I couldn't get to my gun fast enough.
Frank: We'll get the son-of-a-bitch who did this.
Baker: I'll be in tomorrow morning.
Garrett: You have to rest.
Baker: The worst thing you can do is treat me with kids' gloves.

• Permalink: The worst thing you can do is treat me with kids' gloves.
• Added: April 16, 2021

Jack: If I win, you have to come away with me for a romantic weekend.
Erin: You're asking me to prostitute myself for a good cause.
Jack: Basically.
Erin: Fine. And if I win, you have to come to family dinner.
Jack: That's the difference between us. I want to share love and you want to inflict pain.

• Permalink: That's the difference between us. I want to share love and you want to inflict pain.
• Added: April 16, 2021

Baker: Any luck?
Frank: Don't need it. I don't believe in luck.
Baker: You don't?
Frank: No, you make your own luck by being prepared.

• Permalink: No, you make your own luck by being prepared.
• Added: April 09, 2021

It's not often that the collateral damage from our job spills over into our personal lives.

Frank

• Permalink: It's not often that the collateral damage from our job spills over into our personal lives.
• Added: April 09, 2021

Jamie: If it was Linda, what would you do?
Danny: In the old days, I'd throw her off the roof.
Jamie: See?
Danny: But this ain't the old days. Times change.

• Permalink: But this ain't the old days. Times change.
• Added: April 09, 2021