30 Rock Season 5 Episode 1: "The Fabian Strategy" Quotes
Why don't you come back home to TGS and pick the peas out of my fried rice... and the rice. I just want carrots.
Tracy
The writers can't take a car service at night anymore. I've crunched the numbers and it's cheaper for us to just replace anyone who gets murdered.
Jenna
Liz: This is one of the three things I like: Ina Garten, sweater weather and...
Carol: When Muppets present at awards shows?
Toofer: Did you ever see a UFO up there?
Carol: No but once when I was in the Air Force I saw Mr. T in a Pizza Hut.
Liz: The next time you hallucinate just tell yourself "this is not real. I am in control of this."
Tracy: Like the World Cup.
Kenneth! I knew you'd come back. Let me smell your head.
Tracy
Liz: The bathrooms are so much cleaner than at home... I don't know how they do it.
Jack: They clean them.
... then I need you to be back by noon to make the bathroom smell like sandalwood before I wreck it.
Tracy
Jack: Lemon why do you keep spending so much money on Wigs?
Liz: Tracy's head size keeps changing.
The Harry Potter theme park is a huge hit with both anglophiles and pedophiles.
Jack
Liz: Who flies Newark to Atlantic City?
Carol: Black bachelorette parties.
I'm in Lambert-St. Louis and I can see the Arch from here. No wait, that's a half burned down McDonald's.
Carol