Turtle Quotes
Vince: I'd just be happy to avoid a Razzie
Drama: There's nothing wrong with a Razzie
Turtle: Johnny's gonna go for the hat trick if he ever does another movie
Drama: I only have one Razzie, asshole
Jamie Lynn [on the phone]: Your big cock is in my mouth...
Turtle: That's where it likes to be!
Turtle's Mom: Who's that on the phone!?!?!
Drama: I'll give you tips on how to audition, bro.
Turtle: He needs tips on how to successfully audition!
Hot girls driving limos...I like that! Call it "Lim-hos!"
Turtle: Why'd you call last night?
Jamie Lynn Sigler: My therapist says I'm attracted to losers.
Turtle: Lucky me!
Turtle: You wanna hide me, consider me hidden!
Jamie Lynn Sigler: Seriously, I eat here all the time.
Turtle: Really?
Waitress: Hi Jamie baby, how you doin'?
Jamie Lynn Sigler: Really.
I got nowhere to go, Jaime. In fact, I'll move in if you want me to!
Turtle [to Jamie Lynn Sigler]
Drama: There's the director.
Turtle: Should I just gun it and run him over?
Drama: Or should we take the slow and painful approach and piss in his OJ?
Drama: Took the opportunity to inflict a little damage.
Turtle: What kind of damage?
Drama: The "number two" kind!
Turtle: You took a shit in his trailer?
Drama: ...let's just say revenge is best served "a la commode."
Drama: That whole world is deviants, bro. The dudes bang each other while the chicks watch, the chicks bang each other while more chicks watch...
Turtle: And yet nobody would let you watch anything!
Turtle: You guys think I could sell myself to old broads for cash?
Eric: Yeah, if they had vision problems
Turtle: Where's Arnold?
Drama: He's right there, I've been watching him.
Turtle: That's a rock! Are you kidding me?