Real Kyle: So you intended us for us to go ziplining all along? Why, Stan?
Real Stan: If you signed up 3 friends...you got an iPod nano.
Real Kyle: You sold us out for an iPod nano?!

• Permalink: So you intended us for us to go ziplining all along? Why, Stan? ...
• Added: April 19, 2012

Stan: And I finally, I couldn't hold it in any more. I said "Stop it!"
Real Stan: Stop it!

• Permalink: And I finally, I couldn't hold it in any more. I said Stop it! ...
• Added: April 19, 2012

It was 10, maybe 15 minutes of pure hell.

• Permalink: It was 10, maybe 15 minutes of pure hell.
• Added: April 19, 2012

Stan: Dude, did a bully take your lunch money again week?
Butters: Yeah.
Stan: That's the third day in a row, you gotta tell a teacher.
Butters: Nah, I'm not a tattle-tale.
Stan: Then write the principal an anonymous letter.
Butters: Nah, I'm not an Anonymous Andy.
Clyde: So just get a bigger bully to beat the bully up.
Butters: Nah, I don't want kids calling me kids calling me a cliche conflict resolution Kevin.

• Permalink: Dude, did a bully take your lunch money again week? Yeah. Th...
• Added: April 12, 2012

Token, stop giving Tyler Perry money or he won't go away.

• Permalink: Token, stop giving tyler perry money or he won't go away.
• Added: May 05, 2011

Stan: Dude you're freaking out Mint Berry Crunch, he's just peed his pants.
Mint Berry Crunch: No, no, Mint Berry Crunch doesn't ever pee his pants!

• Permalink: Dude you're freaking out Mint Berry Crunch, he's just peed his p...
• Added: November 11, 2010

Stan: What's a muff cabbage?
Kyle: It's a Jersey thing.

• Permalink: What's a muff cabbage? It's a Jersey thing.
• Added: October 14, 2010

All people from Jersey do is hump and punch each other.

• Permalink: All people from Jersey do is hump and punch each other.
• Added: October 14, 2010

Ms. Choksondik: Alright, children, in lieu of the common usage, I'm supposed to clarify the school's position on the word, "shit."
Stan: Wow! We can say "shit" in school now?
Kyle: This is ridiculous! Just because they say it on TV it's alright.

• Permalink: Alright, children, in lieu of the common usage, I'm supposed to ...
• Added: August 18, 2010

Chef: I'm very proud of you, children. Let's all go home and find a nice white woman to make love to.
Stan: Yeah, and Kenny didn't die!
Kenny: (muffled) Yeah, and I didn't die- (pukes out his intestines and dies)
Stan: Holy sh- I mean, poop.
Kyle: Yeah. Poop.
Cartman: I love you guys...

• Permalink: I'm very proud of you, children. Let's all go home and find a ni...
• Added: August 18, 2010

Kyle: Dude! They're gonna say "shit" on television??
Stan: You can't say "shit" on television!
Cartman: It was just on the news! People are freaking out, dude.
Stan: Holy ****ing shit!

• Permalink: Dude! They're gonna say s**t on television?? You can't say s**...
• Added: August 18, 2010

Cartman: You guys! You guys! Oh my god! Oh my god, you guys!
Kyle: What, doughboy?
Cartman: I was... (catches breath) I was just watching the TV and they had this commercial.
Stan: So?
Cartman: So... Guess what they're gonna say tonight on that show "Cop Drama"?
Kyle: What?
Cartman: No, c'mon, guess! They're gonna say something that's never been said on television!
Stan: What?
Cartman: Guess.
Kyle: Goddamit, Cartman! What are they gonna say on "Cop Drama"?
Cartman: Okay, you ready? Tonight...on "Cop Drama"...on TV,...they're gonna say... (looks to the left and right) "shit".

• Permalink: You guys! You guys! Oh my god! Oh my god, you guys! What, doug...
• Added: August 18, 2010