The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXNed Flanders Quotes
(Homer warms up his voice before a performance.)
Homer: (Singing) D'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo-hoo. Stu, stu, stu, stu-pid Flanders.
(Ned Flanders peeks in the dressing room.)
Ned Flanders: Why the crescendo, my dear, old friend-o?
Homer: (Singing) Get lost you waste of a mustache.
Ned Flanders: Okily-dokily.
Ned Flanders: Reverend, would you like to try some of my devil's food cake?
Reverend Lovejoy: Is that really devil's food?
Ned Flanders: No, it's angel's food with chocolate on top.
Reverend Lovejoy: Mmm-hmmm, I thought so.
Ned: Homer Simpson, I show you pity, and how do you repay me? With a kick in the kididdlehopper!
Homer: (laughs) "Kididdlehopper"!
Ned: That's not funny, it's how I swear!
Ned: Homer, I'd love to chitty-chat, but tonight's the night I do my charity work.
Homer: Oh yeah. The judge made me do that once too. Stupid lack of public urinals.
Marge: Homer! Are you planning to hit Ned Flanders with that pipe and steal his tickets?
Homer: Yeno.
Ned: (answers door) Huh? (Homer ges ready to hit him, but changes his mind)
Homer: Oh. Flanders, I decided I'd like to go to the game with you.
Ned: Well, get out the Crayolas and color me "Tickled Pink". Ooh, what's with the lead pipe, were you going to give my noggin a flogging?
Homer: Well, yeah.
(they both laugh)
Maude: Come on, Ned! Move this thing!
Ned: I can't! It's a Geo!
Homer: Ned, since you've let me spend time with your family, I want you to get to know my family. (they go to Moe's) Hey, everyone.
Barney: Hey.
Homer: I'd like to introduce Ned Flanders, my best friend.
Moe: Hey, I don't want no one in here with their "evils of alcohol" rap.
Ned: Wait a second: you're the man at the hospital who reads to sick children.
Moe: (grabs Ned) If this gets out, the next words you say will be muffled by your own butt.
Homer: Well, I guess I should pay my share.
Ned: Relax, Homer. I keep telling you, you're my guest.
Homer: Ooh, you brought me a nacho hat! Thanks, Ned (singing) Nacho, nacho man, I want to be a nacho man
Marty: Oh, we have a winner! What's your name, sir?
Ned: Ned Flanders!
Homer: Oh, not Flanders, anybody but Flanders
Ned: Well, golly, if that doesn't put the "shaz" in "shazam." Oh, listen: what's the cash value of those tickets so I can report it on my income tax?
Ned: Oh, I guess it's time for me to duck again.
Homer: No! I want everyone to know that-- (yelling out window) --this is Ned Flanders, my friend!
Lenny: What'd he say?
Carl: I dunno. Something about being gay.
Lisa: And now you can go back to just being you, instead of a one-dimensional character with a silly catch phrase.
Homer: (slips as he leans on his elbow and breaks a lamp) D'oh!
Bart: Ay, caramba!
Marge: (Grumbling) Mmmmmmmm!
Maggie: (pacifier sucking noise)
Ned Flanders: Hidely-ho!
Barney: (Belches)
Nelson: HA, HAAAH!
Mr. Burns: Ex-cellent!
(Long pause, then everyone stares at Lisa)
Lisa: If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room.
Homer: What kind of catch phrase is that?
Ned: Hi-dilly-ho, neighborinos!
Homer: Can't talk, robbed, go Hell.
