Leslie: Ron, you big fat giant sap!
Ron: That seems unnecessary.

Two years ago, you found out you were quarter French and had a nervous breakdown.

Ron: You called me a "heartless thug."
Leslie: I absolutely did not!
Ron: You were tough. And honest.

Leslie: You forgot the last sentence.
Ron: No I didn't - I remember that part. It says "hire her."

Ron: You mean I've had a toy on my desk all this time?
Leslie: You mean you thought you had a REAL landmine on your desk??

Ron: I have my rights as a US citizen to blow a hole in that f*cking door and get out! It's in the constitution!
Leslie: There's no swearing in the constitution.

Ron: That's not the whole story.
Leslie: What does that mean?
Ron: It means what it means. That is not the whole story of why I left.

Leslie: Come on Ron, we were friends for 10 years.
Ron: We were work proximity associates.

Ron: WHAT IF WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY AND HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE?
Leslie: I DID NOT CONSIDER THAT POSSIBILITY!

Leslie: You're the most unreasonable person I've ever meet and I'm not going to change my mind no matter what anyone says.
Ron: You're bad at scrapbooking.
Leslie: Whaa--?

  • Permalink: Whaa--?
  • Added:

Leslie: That was all flash no substance!
Ron: It was exactly as substantive as your presentation.

They're talking about this ball!

Parks & Rec Quotes

Tom: I meet a girl at a bar. She seems kind of into me, could go either way. I get her number. It's two days later. What do I text her?
Zach: It was nice meeting you.
Tom: No, Zach. I don't text her it was nice meeting you. I wait eight weeks and I text her, "what's crackin'?"

Ron: Who the hell is 'Fwarp'?
April: I don't know. I couldn't really hear him. It sounded like his name was Fwarp.
Ron: Get his number?
April: No.
Ron: Good girl.