Lane Kim Quotes
Lorelai: I certainly don't want Rory to turn out like me.
Mrs. Kim: I don't want Lane to turn out like you either.
Lorelai: Now I believe that's the first thing that you and I have ever agreed on.
Mrs. Kim: (angrily, to a man in her store) You break, you buy!
Man: But it was sticking out in the aisle.
Mrs. Kim: You break, you buy!
Man: But I didn't put it in the aisle.
Mrs. Kim: You have eyes, yes?
Man: Yes, I have eyes.
Mrs. Kim: These eyes work?
Man: Yes, these eyes work.
Mrs. Kim: They can make out shapes, sizes and colors?
Man: Yes they can do all that, but ...
Mrs. Kim: Eyes work, they see lamp in aisle, send message to brain: 'Lamp in aisle - move!' You move. You don't break lamp.
Man: I ...
Mrs. Kim: You have no eyes, not my problem, that is between you and them. You break, you buy!
(The man gives in and gives her some money)
Mrs. Kim: (suddenly sweet) We appreciate your business.
Mrs. Kim: Lane is not allowed to date boys unless we have approved them. She knows that, she knows our rules and she broke them. That is unacceptable.
Lorelai: Ok, yes, you're right. But teenagers sometimes slip up.
Mrs. Kim: I don't care what teenagers do, I care what Lane does.
Lorelai: You know, it doesn't always work to just lock a kid up and throw away the key.
Mrs. Kim: I didn't throw away the key, it's in the kitchen.
Lorelai: (surprised by the answer) Ok, well, I was talking symbolically...but alright, I'm with you now.
Remember two years ago, I got my mom that perfume? Okay, to me that said, "Hey Mom, you work hard, you deserve something fancy." Now, to my mother it said, "Hey Mom, here's some smelly sex juice -- the kind I use to lure boys with." And resulted in me being sent to Bible camp all summer.
Rory: He's not my boyfriend.
Lane: Really?
Rory: No.
Lane: What is he then?
Rory: He's my...gentleman caller
Lane: Ok, Blanche.
Lorelai: Hey do you wanna talk? I'm not Rory, but we do use the same blow dryer.
Lane: I did something really stupid tonight.
Lorelai: Okay, what'd you pierce?
Lane: Nothing. I touched a boy's hair.
Lorelai: Okay.
Lane: A boy I really like.
Lorelai: So far I'm missing the stupid part.
Lane: I kind of did it without his permission.
Lorelai: Now we're getting somewhere.
Lane: I don't know what happened. I mean I was just standing there and then he bends over and his hair falls forward and suddenly it's like my hand has a life of its own.
Lorelai: Sounds like your hand had a little help from your hormones.
Lane: God I was so humiliated! I can't ever go back to school. I'll have to be home schooled, my mother finally gets her way.
Lorelai: Look at it from a different perspective. You have so many years of screw ups ahead of you, view this as a trial run for really grown-up humiliation.
Lane: So not helping.
Lorelai: Maybe you should be a hair-dresser.
Lane: Lorelai!
Lorelai: Yes, it's perfect. Then you can run your hands through anybody's hair you want and they'll pay you for it.
Lane: What am I going to do? Everyone at school is going to be talking about it. I can't show my face.
Lorelai: Everybody does stupid things in high school. It's like a requirement.
Lane: Not like this!
Lorelai: No, some people get pregnant! Talk about something really juicy for the gossip mill.
Rory: He kissed me!
Mrs.Kim: What? Who kissed you?
Lane: Uh, the Lord, Mama.
Lorelai: Are the lids tight on the paint thinner because you're sounding a little loopy to me.
Mrs. Kim: Loopy, what's loopy?
Lorelai: (laughing) Rory's not kissing anybody.
Lorelai: Where does your mom think you are?
Lane: Oh, uh, on a park bench, contemplating the reunification of the two Koreas.
Lorelai: Not here, skanking to Rancid?
Lane: Wouldn't be included.
Babette: Cinnamon's dyspeptic. So's Maury. Too many clams.
Maury: Baaad clams!
Babette: This doesn't reflect well on Al's establishment...
Lane: You had clams at Al's?
Rory: Al's Pancake World?
Babette: Yeah, well, we had coupons...
Lane: They said that they rolled her body into a lamp.
(Rory nods)
Lane: Did you laugh?
(Rory shakes her head)
Lane: Did you want to?
(Rory nods)
Rory: Oh my God, I just got hit by a deer!
Lane: You hit a deer?
Rory: No, I got hit by a deer!
Lane: How do you get hit by a deer?
Rory: I was at a stop sign and it hit me.
Lane: Was it a 4-way stop?
Rory: What does that matter?
Lane: I don't know. I don't know what to ask after you've been hit by a deer.
