The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXGroundskeeper Willie Quotes
Willie: What's that?
Principal Skinner: We didn't want to leave you out of the digital revolution. Willie, meet your new supervisor.
Willie: I have to take orders from a machine?
Principal Skinner: Oh it can't speak, but should it ever learn, yes.
Willie: You want me to carve it into a thank-o-lantern?
Lisa: No, this is good.
Willie: Well, this knave's got to carve something.
Lisa: Willie, I love your chaps.
Willie: Me pants are ripped out.
Ghost: How could you mistake him for me?
Willie: It was that sassy mouth that got you killed in the first place.
Superintendent Chalmers: Willie, you're the new principal.
Willie: Who's the new groundskeeper?
Superintendent Chalmers: Also you. And you don't get more money.
Ah only took this refereein' gig 'cause ah was cold and they gave me this shirt.
Teens? In Willie's hidey-hole? I'll mop up your blood from the inside!
Groundskeeper Willie: I'll bring those kids back dead or alive!
Skinner: Not DEAD!
Groundskeeper Willie: Aw, you never let Willie be Willie!
You strays are going straight to the pound where you'll be put to sleep... by my boring stories. And then you'll be killed!
</i> Dogcatcher Willie
Lisa: Willie, I didn't know you were an apiarist.
Groundskeeper Willie: From context, I can tell that means beekeeper.
Principal Skinner: Willie, go into the vent and get him.
Groundskeeper Willie: What!? Have ye gone waxy in yer beester? I canna fit in the wee vent, ye croquet-playin' mint-muncher!
Principal Skinner: Grease yourself up and go in, you guff-speaking work-slacker.
Groundskeeper Willie: Ooh. Good comeback.
Groundskeeper Willie: (Speaking into a microphone) If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the lot of ya, and burn yer town to cinders!
(A man whispers something into his ear.)
Groundskeeper Willie: I know it's on!
