Frasier
Thursdays on Paramount+Frasier Crane Quotes
Alan: What’s so offensive about being a dancing bear? You’re a natural showman. Why not use that talent?
Frasier: I don’t want to be a showman anymore. I want to make an impact.
David: Look around, Uncle. You are the Rosie-cheeked debutante at this ball of the brains. I am the strapping young cadet.
Frasier: Go sit down, David.
Frasier: Alright, I know what you two are thinking. Here comes the Harvard lecturer in his hackneyed tweed.
Freddy: No, but I was thinking, how long is it going to take my Dad to mention he’s teaching at Harvard? Under a minute. That’s impressive.
Frasier: So, just a bit longer than you actually attended Harvard.
Alan: I still can’t believe how big TV personality Frasier Crane walks away from his talk show.
Frasier: It was time. I told them get off your knees and stop begging. I’m already out the door.
Alan: And things with Charlotte?
Frasier: She told me the same thing. But it was for the best. After 20 years in Chicago, It was time for George Bailey to get that old bag out of the closet and see the world.
Alan: And how are things between you two? I remember how tense it was when he dropped out of Harvard.
Frasier: All these years later, I still don’t get it, but he’s forging his own path, and I support that.
Alan: And I believe you. Oh, look, now we’re both liars.
Frasier: Why is this called Scootch?
Freddy: Because they can’t legally call it Scotch.
I hope you’re hungry because this irony is delicious.
You work with firefighters, men who can sprint down a staircase carrying another person over their shoulders. But rather than ask them to help, you ask your cousin, David, whose greatest athletic achievement is almost crawling into a hammock.
Dear God, some people will not be helped. I could put the two of you in a boat with life preservers on top of a sand dune, and you’d still find a way to drown.
Frasier: He was a hell of a guy. A tough act to follow. If there’s anything I’ve ever wanted to be in life, more than anything else, it’s to be a good father. I’m sorry I let you down. I promise I’ll do better.
Freddy: Thanks, Dad.
You missed your grandfather’s funeral. He had everything planned to the last detail, and you missed it. The police send off. Daphne’s toast. Bulldog’s Ave Maria. What possible excuse could you have for not being there with your family?
Frasier: You know, you remind me of your mother. Perpetually optimistic. Always seeing the…Do you have to put in eye drops right as we’re having a nice moment?
David: You can’t tell me it’s not Sahara dry in here.
Frasier: Now you remind me of your father.
