Dwight: If you're ever in the area, you'll always have a place to stay...in my barn.
Jim: There it is.

Dwight: I can't believe you came.
Michael: That's what she said.

Jim: I think it's time for you to bury the hatchet.
Dwight: Waste of a good hatchet.

I never thought I'd say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow.

Angela: The only people that need to be there are you and me.
Dwight: Oh and the old man to feed us the cheese that he's been fermenting since the day of my birth. You keep forgetting about him.

Dwight: You're a good assistant Jim.
Jim: Not as good as you.
Dwight: That's very true. Get the hell out of here.

Dwight: We're third cousins, which is great for bloodlines and isn't technically incest.
Jim: Right in the sweet spot.

The two of you would move to my 16 hundred acre estate, which let's face it, is a big step up from living in a gay man's closet.

Anyone who needs to speak to me has gotta go through me first.

Pete: Plop? Still?
Dwight: We owe Andy that much.

I'd like to get harmful steam, but the prices are absurd.

It's not the KGB, but it's a start.

The Office Quotes

Kevin: Michael, did you just throw up in here?
Michael: Nah. Just poopin'. You know how I be.
Kevin: It smells like throw-up in here.
Michael: Crazy world. Lot of smells.

David, here it is. My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter... where. Or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or... or where you've been... ever. For any reason, whatsoever.

Michael