Darryl Philbin Quotes
Dwight: How do I apply?
Gabe: You have to be a minority.
Dwight: Uh, glasses wearers? Cholera survivors? Geniuses? Non-organic family farmers? The list goes on and on you want me to keep going?
Gabe: Those don't really count. We're thinking more, ethnic and racial minorities.
Dwight: Come here, come here. Ten seconds ago this guy was driving a forklift, OK? Now all of a sudden he's Cinderella of the office. What are you guys thinking?
Darryl: I like the sound of this. Maybe someday I'll be sitting in Michael's chair. Wouldn't that be something.
I got my whole life to be a minority executive. Only have about a year left in these knees, though.
Oscar: You know what we haven't done in a while? Happy hour... Upstairs, the warehouse, everybody just going out for a drink.
Darryl: Has that ever happened?... ever?
Oscar: Didn't we? I think we did.
Darryl: You want me to invite Matt?
Oscar: Yeah, the, uh the whole gang. Matt included.
Darryl: Look just be straight with me man. You can be gay with Matt just, be straight with me.
So, the guy shows me the deck he's built. And I'm like, I'll call this a deck if it'll make you happy, but this is just a porch without a roof.
Darryl: You need to get back on top.
Michael Scott: That's what she said.
Michael: The sales department smashed my sandwich?
Darryl: Yes - all of them together. It's a conspiracy.
Michael: Very nice!
Darryl: Not bad, huh?
Michael: A real hoop dream story you got there.
Michael: Oh man, you seem to have caught Jo's eye. How'd you make that happen?
Darryl: I impressed her with my good ideas.
Michael: Mm-hmm! Seriously. How'd you do it.
Darryl: I made a suggestion at the meeting that was good. You were there...
Michael: How do I put this delicately... Does her family owe your family something? In terms of a past injustice.
Darryl: Now Mike I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. So I can learn about this tiny television.
Oscar: Is Matt around? I got his check.
Darryl: Uh, Matt is on a delivery. Just leave it here, I'll take it.
Oscar: Ah, I'll just... wait for him.
Darryl: Matt's a pretty good-looking dude, don't you think?
Oscar: I'll just leave it here with you.
Darryl: You're not as scary as Bookface over there.
Jim: Yes. I am the popular social networking site known as Bookface.
Michael: Kids, just remember, suicide is never the answer. Alright? It is the easy way out. You are not alone. [gives the thumbs up]
Darryl: What the hell is wrong with you?
Michael: Who wants candy?
Darryl: Toby! Dwight! You come to my house? Bust up my trash cans? Call my baby sister an a$$hole and tell her to eat dog food?
Dwight: We thought she was you.
Darryl: How would you think a lady is me?
Dwight: [pause] Are you serious? Because you look exactly alike?
Toby: I don't see it.
