Pam: So everyone here knows pirate code?
Creed: I understand it, I can't speak it.

Best Edward James Olmos costume I've ever seen...like freaky good.

Creed: Well I really, really, really liked it.
Andy: Well that really bums me out.
Creed: You're welcome.

Plumber: You're the guy who boo'd me.
Michael: Mmm. No. There were a lot of people booing you, I wasn't one of them.
Plumber: Uhh, I saw you. And you were the only one.
Michael: Get your eyes checked chuckle head.
Creed: Be cool Michael, I saw this guy kill a bunch of people.

Everywhere I look it's Betty White this and Betty White that. Finally a kid who's not talking about Betty White. Of course I follow him.

He's been trashing us relentlessly on Twitter. Now it's funny stuff, but mean.

I think we can all agree it's either Gabe or Angela. [Flips coin] It's Angela. Get her, boys.

I've done a lot more for a lot less.

You ever notice you can only ooze two things? Sexuality and pus. Man, I tell ya.

Have you tried making everything smaller?

Pam: So Santa, what can we expect from this party?
Phyllis: It's going to be a very jolly time if you've been good!
Creed: What if you've been bad?
Phyllis: Oh, then nothing but a lump of coal for you!
Creed: What if you've been really, really bad? Like more evil, and strictly wrong.
Jim: Okay, Creed, we covered it. Lump of coal.
Phyllis: Yeah ...

Guys, I'm starting to think Pam's not even pregnant.

The Office Quotes

Kevin: Michael, did you just throw up in here?
Michael: Nah. Just poopin'. You know how I be.
Kevin: It smells like throw-up in here.
Michael: Crazy world. Lot of smells.

David, here it is. My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter... where. Or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or... or where you've been... ever. For any reason, whatsoever.

Michael