Kevin Malone

Kevin Malone is an accountant at Dunder Mifflin paper company. Kevin is bald, overweight, and has very few facial expressions. He speaks in a slow monotone and does not express many emotions.

Kevin's humor derives from the deadpan comments he delivers, as well as a rather juvenile sense of humor.

Kevin Malone Quotes

Dwight [Reading suggestions for health care coverage]: Who thought of this one? Anal fissures.
Kevin: That's a real thing.
Dwight: Yeah, but no one here has it.
Kevin: Someone has it.

Kevin: [to Angela, who is role-playing as a Jamaican] Do you wanna go to the beach?
Angela: Sure.
Kevin: Do you wanna get high?
Angela: No.
Kevin: I think you do... mon.

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The Office Quotes

Kevin: Michael, did you just throw up in here?
Michael: Nah. Just poopin'. You know how I be.
Kevin: It smells like throw-up in here.
Michael: Crazy world. Lot of smells.

David, here it is. My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter... where. Or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or... or where you've been... ever. For any reason, whatsoever.

Michael

The Office

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The Office Videos

The Mentor
The Delivery Promo II
The Delivery Promo
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