Ricardo Antonio Chavira stars as Carlos Solis on ABC's Desperate Housewives. Carlos was a successful businessman when he met his beautiful wife, Gabrielle, a fashion model at the time.
After a divorce, getting re-married, going to jail, going blind, and having kids together, Carlos and Gabrielle are now happily enough married with two children.
Carlos: It's business. Tanaka expects everyone to bring their wives.
Gabrielle: Every time I'm around that man, he tries to grab my ass.
Carlos: I made over $200,000 doing business with him last year. If he wants to grab your ass, you let him
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Carlos: At the Donahue party everyone was talking mutual funds, and you found a way to mention you slept with half of the Yankee outfield.
Gabrielle: I'm telling you, it came up in the context of the conversation
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Let's find something fun-size for me to enjoy.
Renee
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Preston: We don't want to get spanked.
Porter: Yeah, we promise we'll be good.
Lynette: Too late, you stole and then you lied. Even worse, you made me look bad in front of Mrs. McCluskey, who you know is mommy's sworn enemy. Time to pick your poison. How 'bout a belt? It's a classic... Well, we could go with the old hickory stick. It's a cliche, but it's pretty effective. I know, we'll go with the spatula. The holes give it less wind resistance; moves faster.
Scavo kids: No! No! No! No!
Lynette: Guys, guys, guys, hey my hands are tied. Thieves get spanked. Just the way it works. Unless...
Porter: Unless what?
Lynette: For a first time offense, if you swear, cross your heart, that you will never, never steal again, and you write Mrs. McCluskey a letter of apology, I will let it slide.
Scavo kids: Okay! Yeh! We swear! Yeh! We swear!
Lynette: Alright, start with Dear Mrs. McCluskey.
Porter: Mommy, why are you smiling?
Lynette: Do you know what physiological warfare means?
Porter: No.
Lynette: Well, too bad for you
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