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Andrew Van de Kamp
Andrew Van De Kamp, as the son of Bree Hodges, started off on Desperate Housewives living with his mother. Now, as a grown adult, Andrew has returned to live on Wisteria Lane just down the street from his mother. Andrew came out of the closet much to his mother's disappointment at the beginning of the series.
Andrew Van de Kamp Quotes
I know she's probably a bitch, but she's family; that makes her our bitch.
Andrew (<i>about Phyllis</i>)
- Permalink: I know she's probably a bitch, but she's family; that makes her ...
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Phyllis: (talking about Rex) I even kept the dirty magazine that he hid under his mattress. He didn't think I knew about it, but I did.
Andrew: Well, looks like dad was into big breasts.
Phyllis: Oh, yes. That's why I was surprised when he married your mother.
- Permalink: I even kept the dirty magazine that he hid under his mattress. H...
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Desperate Housewives Quotes
Let's find something fun-size for me to enjoy.
Renee
- Permalink: Let's find something fun-size for me to enjoy.
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Preston: We don't want to get spanked.
Porter: Yeah, we promise we'll be good.
Lynette: Too late, you stole and then you lied. Even worse, you made me look bad in front of Mrs. McCluskey, who you know is mommy's sworn enemy. Time to pick your poison. How 'bout a belt? It's a classic... Well, we could go with the old hickory stick. It's a cliche, but it's pretty effective. I know, we'll go with the spatula. The holes give it less wind resistance; moves faster.
Scavo kids: No! No! No! No!
Lynette: Guys, guys, guys, hey my hands are tied. Thieves get spanked. Just the way it works. Unless...
Porter: Unless what?
Lynette: For a first time offense, if you swear, cross your heart, that you will never, never steal again, and you write Mrs. McCluskey a letter of apology, I will let it slide.
Scavo kids: Okay! Yeh! We swear! Yeh! We swear!
Lynette: Alright, start with Dear Mrs. McCluskey.
Porter: Mommy, why are you smiling?
Lynette: Do you know what physiological warfare means?
Porter: No.
Lynette: Well, too bad for you
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